So this month we will be highlighting women from all walks of life. I want to showcase women from every age, and stage with different ideas, thoughts and views.
Today I want to highlight Zanika Hightower. Zanika is a 27 year old office manager for a medical office. She is also a mother to an almost 6 year old daughter. I had the opportunity to speak to her about what she felt she wanted people to know about her.
I personally met Zanika when she and her family came to my home church in Lancaster, PA. She is a twin it’s definitely one of the first things I knew about her. I’ve worked with her during various events at our church. She’s definitely grown up now. Zanika is definitely a go getter. She strives to provide for her daughter. She’s serious about her career. At 27, her wisdom definitely surpasses her years.
During our conversation the one thing that struck out to me was her desire to be celibate. Yes you read correctly. Celibate. Think about that for just a second. No sex and you’re in your 20s?! In this day and age I don’t know many women taking that type of stand. Her reasoning was because she didn’t want to bring another person into her circle. Think about it when you have sex with someone anything can happen, STDs, pregnancy, feelings, etc. She’s not ready to entertain the idea.
She also didn’t want to keep giving herself to someone in hopes for a title. I personally know many women who sleep with men just to get a man to love them, date them, or marry them. Sex clouds the reality of the situation. And in case you are wondering she’s been doing this now for 3 years. Impressive since some folks can’t go days let alone years without sex.
Now before you start giving the side eye to the idea, yes she has a child. That alone we know she’s not a virgin but it reminds me of the group City High’s lyric from the song Caramel “just because I’m not a virgin don’t mean I’m having sex with you.” A baby doesn’t knock you out the game of regaining your sexuality. You had sex and had a baby but that doesn’t mean you have to keep giving sex to a man. It’s your body, and your choice and Zanika chooses to abstain. Zanika is definitely focused on raising an articulate little girl who is strong and able to make her mark and defy stereotypes.
If there’s a young lady reading this on the brink of thinking thag they have to sex for a man and you don’t want to, then don’t. You aren’t alone. Your body is for you and only you should decide to give it. Its one thing to have never given into sex, but an even greater challenge to withhold it after you have experienced it. For that I applaud Zanika. Obviously she’s not the only woman who has done it, but how many stories do you hear in today’s sexed up society? Ladies as we celebrate woman’s month, let’s embrace all women who are doing something positive. What’s more positive than the message of loving yourself.
