ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

I’m sure you have already been getting your fill of these beautiful women.  It’s time to highlight another woman.

Enjolii Gantz is married and a mother of two, a daughter who is almost 5 and an eleven year old son.  She is ambitious and hardworking.  She takes being a mother and wife serious.  She jokes that in her circle often times she comes off as too real or harsh but that when you are a real friend if you can’t have truth amongst friends what do you really have?!

Had a recent chat with her about womanhood and the one thing that stuck out was woman being confident in themselves regardless if they have someone or not.  It’s no secret that most women crave relationship or companionship. It should come as to no surprise either the lengths women will go to obtain it.

Look at most of the reality shows today and most are based on obtaining a man even if the man isn’t yours to begin with.  Enjolii’s hope is for women to see the value in themselves instead of placing a high value in having a man by their side. 

Again you know I there are women reading this and thinking that it’s easy for Enjolii to say because she’s married.  It goes back to the themes I’ve used consistently that just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have hit the ceiling of life.  You can be single at any moment.  Enjolii wasn’t always married.  There were moments where you want to be a wife but it shouldn’t over shadow you that you can’t function outside of your marriage.

The other issue is even in marriage people have it pinned that the wife is supposed to do it all.  That means take care of the kids, run the house, and tend to their husbands.  Women are changing what it means to be a wife but the burden sometimes is on the woman.

What happens when you aren’t confident in what you bring to the table?  What about if you get married but you aren’t fulfilled as a person?  Make sure that you are where you need to be before you bring someonelse into your life. A confident woman who is secure in herself won’t allow herself to accept some of the games that men play because instead of just settling, they inquire more.  You take the rush out of getting any person when you are satisfied.  Being satisfied single doesn’t always mean you have to like being single either.  It means you are okay until the right one comes along.

Also we have to instill confidence in our daughters.  They are growing up emulating what we do.  If they see you bouncing from man to man it will be common place for them to do the same.  Set goals, set standards on love and relationship.  Be clear on good examples of healthy relationships so they can emulate it in their own lives.

I for one applaud a woman who can recognize that it takes more than a wedding gown and ring to be satisfied.  Many women are chasing after the wedding, but what about the marriage?! Preparing for marriage happens in your single days.  It takes confidence to make a great sacrifice and it takes will to make it work.  Marriage isn’t all glamorous like others would paint it so don’t enter it likely.

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