It’s Summer time. Ladies you are going to be hit on even more than before. I don’t care if you have on a dress that looks like a curtain its coming. With Summer fling in the air let me help you wit a few reminders. We women are trying to “live our best life.” With that being said the concept that as long as you are connected to someone you have won mentality needs to be adjusted. Single is not a death sentence and everyone you see married isn’t happy. Wholeness is the move no who you are connected to.
Single and Satisfied
Ladies not being attached is a beautiful thing. However there is a lot of things that we need to be doing while you are single. Let me help you now these are not the list of things to help you secure a man. If you want to be with someone in due time it will happen. There is no get a man quick theory to apply. You will most likely find him as you live. You have to get out of your home to find him or as the good book says he will find you. You need to be out here living. You not having someone to share moments with can be annoying. However the one thing about being single is that you don’t have to check in with another person. You simply desire something, make a plan and execute that plan. Something that married women forget about.
If you haven’t traveled, gone on non church conferences that are simply about bettering yourself, taken a girls trip, solo trip, or just carved out “me time” you are living your single life wrong. The most common reason people complain about being single is because they are only focused on living this “life” attached. Yes you get tired of being around your girls, or doing things on your own, but half the time if you are only staying local I could see why. Change your environment. Go where the water is blue, explore your city, get out. Single doesn’t have to be boring unless you choose that for yourself. I’ll come back to my single lades in a minute.
Married and Miserable
News flash, not all married folks are miserable. Married folks got struggles just like the single folks do. People think, well you may have 2 incomes, a warm person to lie down next to you and bam life is solved.. Wrong. Some individuals spend so much time on getting with someone and less on themselves that they join just for joining sake. Just to have a new last name. Just to have a wedding. Just so they can be on social media frauding. They have no sense on what it means to really join to another human. They have no concept of being there for someone in their lowest state. They have no concept when the sex goes left and they start wanting more. They have no concept when one person stops working or is unable to work. They have no concept of when you have kids in the midst and how hard it is to make this family structure work.
How about the times when you want kids and can’t? These are the things that when you are single you think you are strong enough to handle until life happens…. Marriage is beautifully flawed. Most folks only see the glitter and gold but they have no idea the fire that goes to make gold shine. If you aren’t ready to commit to the bad then pause your desire to enter this lifelong commitment.
Ride or Die
When you hear Beyoncé tell Jayz that she’s her ride or die, does it make you feel warm and fluffy? The concept of ride or die needs revamped. Sometimes we ride for things that we shouldn’t. You are not a rider in a marriage if you constantly deal with a cheating spouse. You are not a ride or die just because you know he or she is lying but you stay just to show loyalty. Things do happen. Relationships are hard. Sometimes you riding for the wrong team mate. Let me say that real loud for the ones in the back, stop riding for the wrong team mate. If you are unmarried the list of what you tolerate should be small.
Marriage sometimes makes you take step back but even in that don’t be no fool. How many times have I heard of a single person taking a boyfriend or girlfriend back and the question is why? What have they done to earn that spot in your life? What are they doing behind doors that makes you tolerate that? Please understand that this pattern won’t get better over time.
Single, married, divorced, and separated the battle to move around in these statuses are overwhelming a lot of people. Married people suffering all kinds of stuff in silence, single people losing their minds literally to be married, divorced people trying to do all kinds of things just to make their wife or husband they claim they don’t want suffer, is all too much.
Being with someone is great when you put the energy into being in your own skin that much better. Whole people coming together with another whole person makes a bomb power couple. Being a whole person makes one bomb woman or man regardless if you are connected or not. Being whole and getting over the hurt in your failed marriage will make you a better whole person instead of finding the mate you left in another form and complaining as if its everyone else’s fault that you haven’t done your inner work. Wholeness takes work. It is a daily job. The undertaking moves past doing only to attract.
The work goes into being happy all
around. This is why in some marriages one person can’t carry another miserable person. This is why in life, miserable people need not be overwhelmed with status but in inner peace.
