It’s always been said that nice guys and gals finish last-but there’s something to be said in the art of niceties.
There will be times when being mean and arrogant just can’t get you but so far. Being rude will not always get you out of trouble-trust me I know.
Being Nice or Being Honest
I’m def one for telling it like it is. Being direct works for me and I usually don’t hold any punches. However there is a slight balance between direct, ignorant and nice. In no way do I suggest people being alright bullies as some think it’s ok to be. To go out of your way to be mean to someone is just unjustifiable. However there will be moments in time where being “nice” aka borderline push over will simply not serve you. How many times have you been nice to someone and they walked all over you? Was it a matter of you now knowing that they were walking over you? No you knew but somehow justified your behavior. Why do we do this?
Speaking up
You ever have that moment where you think to yourself I wish I had spoken up? I wish I had been more direct? Yes we all do but its when you let others walk all over you and hide behind i’m just nice that makes a difference. Growing up I was always taught about creating balances. Learning the finesse between both sides is where you want to be. Learn the difference between allowing yourself to be walked over and allowing yourself to go overboard just to make a point.For example, the girlfriend who always does for her man and when it’s time for him to do the same he doesn’t but she continues because she’s just being nice. One never extend yourself or over extend yourself to someone who won’t do the same (another blog later). Someone has told her that she needs to be nice to hold a man and don’t rock the boat. If you can’t telly our partner that your relationship seems one sided, what are you doing with them?
Nice for Advances
What about the woman who thinks she must be nice and let her boss over use her time so she keep her job. She has been conditioned to think that she must be at the bosses’ call in order to climb. Does this suggest there’s no rules to the game?! There certainly are. Be nice because that is the right thing to do. But if you see that being nice is only causing more issues stop. I was working at a job. At this job I volunteered to stay late or work whole shifts in addition to my own. My boss was a complete jerk. He spoke to me anyway he felt and I was losing my patience. One day I had determined that I would speak up.
He walked over me because I allowed it. Had I used my voice to stick to what was happening I could have come to the conclusion to leave that job sooner than I did. I like many others play nice games to get ahead. It doesn’t always serve you to do so.
The problem with being N.I.C.E is simple-no matter what side of the fence you have to stand and trust you will have to stand on both you have to make sure you balance yourself. Sometimes it’s going to take a smile and then it will take a smile and a firm NO as well. So you gonna keep being N.I.C.E?!
