ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Yes as a blogger I’m networked with a lot of other bloggers all the time.  It’s a beautiful thing as no one person has all the answers.  Information is now readily at our finger tips.  I for one am all for gleaming from those around me.

People will attempt to make you feel as if you have to be poised all the time.  I’m vulnerable and have weaknesses as everyone else around me.  The one thing that I love is my willingness to learn and grow.

I’ve gotten many questions on people facing insecurities.  I really don’t know an individual who doesn’t have them.  To my readers who express these concerns often you aren’t alone.  One of the ways to address your concerns is to be honest, check your emotions, and find an answer.  Yes you have to be willing to get better and stronger. 

Women write in all the time about how they feel insecure in their relationships.  First I believe if you are feeling insecure in a relationship than there’s some self work that needs to be completed.  You have to not allow outside influences to dictate how you move with your significant other.  What matters most is what you define within your relationship.

Another issue with insecurity inside of a relationship is after you have checked yourself it’s ok to bring up an issue with your mate.  People look down on a woman if she expresses anything that feels like disrespect even if it has to do with another female.  Yes you can go too far and come off as accusatory but you should be able to discuss what you feel.  Not all females respect men in their relationship just like all men aren’t smashing every thing walking.  If you feel like a woman is overstepping the boundary remember the boundary set is with your mate and keep it there.  Be respectful and be true to self.

Insecurity with your body image is a huge topic of discussion that comes in my email.  Listen no one person’s body is where they want.  Even women  such as Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian are either trying to maintain or get better and often give interviews discussing their insecurities.  Let me be clear these women whether you personally like them or not are symbols of sexiness that both women and men have accepted as their mental measuring stick.  Pick your example or make yourself your own.  The point is we all have insecurities.  If you want to change how you look especially when it comes to weight than do it.  Just be clear that you have the right reasons in mind.  I’ve always say while you are getting summer time fine work on that mind. 

The last insecurity I will address that I get often is the notion of being enough.  I get this question in regards to relationship, work, and home life.  This question will not go away especially if you are consistently trying to be better.  What are you trying to be enough for?  A man, you will never measure up you’re not supposed to.  It’s not your job to be all that a man needs.  It’s your job to be the best you can.  We change our idea of what we want all the time.  If you are in a relationship you and your mate’s goals should be ever changing.  Balance is key.  Balance will take away being enough.  Balance says it’s ok not to be perfect but to keep going.  Balance says it’s ok to make mistakes and grow.  Balance says it’s ok to change.  so let’s not harp on the insecurity.  Make the appropriate changes you need to be better, don’t be afraid to address your issues, and speak up whether it’s on your job, in your home, or to yourself, and let balance be your goal.

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