There has been an increase of people feeling alone. Today I want to share a few examples as their a thousand and one ways to support others. People want to be seen and heard. Often times when that doesn’t happen, people wind up with bigger feelings that they are able to fill. So how can you support others?
Supporting Others in Presence
When someone you know is hurting often times simply being there with your presence is enough. This may come in the form of coming over for coffee. Maybe showing up at their event. Your presence in their life as a beautiful force is often times what others need. Knowing that you will shop up and show out for them is a comfort. So many people talk a good game. They tell you all kinds of things but their actions don’t align. So when someone is there for you and it’s consistent it makes your heart swell. So consider what your presence can do for others in their time of need. Often times they don’t need you to preach to them, tell them how wrong someone or something is, or even talk much. There’s power in truly listening to your loved one.
Supporting Others With Compassion
FYI, compassion starts well before a tragedy or circumstance hits. This is why I encourage you to have a compassionate heart. There are a million one things that people are going through. People say why didn’t my friend or family member come and talk to me? Maybe in your mind you have always had an open door policy. If that is the case consider a few things, does your speech betray you?
What this means since you aren’t a mind reader sometimes our need to have an opinion on everything already let others know what you will say when times get hard. For instance, I had a friend that talked badly about the LGBTQ+ community. When their child came out that child didn’t consider them a safe space because of their stance and the mean things they said about the topic before hand. It’s easy to say or think you would be understanding or show compassion until it knocks at your door.
When you speak about a topic near others keep in mind even if they aren’t dealing with it out loud or now doesn’t mean they won’t. Speak about things and others as if the ones the closest to you was fighting the same battle. It becomes a little too late to switch it up or make others comfortable after the fact.
Supporting Others with Your Finances
This is the one that causes the most arguments. It’s not your job to finance every project of a loved one. However I have found that being honest about it helps. If you have a good friend who is going through or maybe not good with money and needs help-offer to help them in other ways. If a friend needs help with groceries but you also know that in the past they haven’t been as forthcoming-offer to do the grocery shopping for them. Send groceries to their house. I have done that many times. It helps to supply the need temporary as well as offer a long term solution as well. If you aren’t able to help with as example groceries, maybe you have the contact to a local food bank you can share. The point is use discernment with lending money.
Make the financial contribution clear. If you know the person will pay you back always get things in writing. Include the date and time you gave the money, location, date it will be paid back and how. Trust me friends can fall apart over money. Make it abundantly clear. If you are able and just want to be a blessing, do so without holding it overs someone’s head.
Support Long Distance
Most of my friends do not live in the same city as I do. So often times, taking their calls, answering text messages, setting up facetime, sending a handwritten card or letter are ways in which I can support a friend. Here are some other ways:
- Schedule a meet up even if it’s once a year
- Keep communication open
- Be honest
- Talk about expectations of relationships
- Have and make inside jokes that you share with one another
- Watch a show together-facetime or other means
- Send little gifts that remind you of one another
Mental Health and Loved Ones
People just want to know that you care. Over the weekend there was a YouTuber who has in the past used situations to lie and garner attention. He posted over the weekend that he wanted to end his life. Some people were concerned while others are waiting to verify its not another prank of some sort. This is the thing, mental health is real. Your friends and family are fighting battles that you can’t see. Check in on them. Call them. Reach out to them in the way that makes the most sense.
I have a family member that when I reach out they are hit and miss. If that doesn’t work I have a back up way of reaching out. I give them about 3 days before I activate it. Do all you can to reach out. Keeping in mind that sometimes no matter what you do people will do what works best for them Be at peace with what you were able to do. So reach out to at least one person after reading this. Tell them you love them and you are thinking of them. Spread as much love. Be nice to even strangers as you may be the only happy face or pleasant spirit they encounter today.
