ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

We all have heard the phrase that drinking our water and minding our business is the way that we need to do in life. However, do not mistake minding our business as an excuse to not be about sisterhood. So how do balance making sure you are good and maintain a sisterhood that is effective? Are we really drinking our water like we say we are? Let’s talk about watering real sisterhood.

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Drinking our water and Minding our business

Before we get into how to maintain a sisterhood do you know how many of us struggle with our water intake. The purpose of the phrase “drinking our water” is to signify that one we actively stay hydrated but also as an act of taking care of ourselves. All summer long we have been emphasizing just how to do just that. Yet in still with all the reminders we fall off the wagon from time to time. So, I encourage you to drink that water. Replenish the things that concern you. Why is it important to push that messaging now? We are going into the months of servitude. The months where we will buy or do for others. Do not lose yourself in the process.

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If you struggle with water drinking set a reminder. Add fruit to your water. Consider drinking sparkling water. I do this often and it has increased my  intake. Add things like green teas over soda and sugary drinks. But increase the desire to pour back into you as you do for other people surrounding you.

Sisterhood and Individuality

This is the part where we must get clear on what sisterhood looks like. So many of us have been wounded by friends and friendships that is hard to let others in. You are not alone. I too have had some hard friend breakups. They sometimes hurt more than romantic relationships. However, be open to water new relationships by being smart about the things that wounded you. Instead of the “no new friends” say I am open to friends who align with my core values. Water the people who consistently water you.

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One of the toughest lessons I learned as I became adult was that the power that I have stops at my nose. Touch your nose. That’s where the power to stop the people in your life from making mistakes. There’s one thing to want to cover loved ones and another in making loved ones do what we want them to do. One of the hardest lessons is letting “grown” folk be grown. I had to learn that everything that is wrong don’t need a highlight from me. Be there for those who we see going down a round path. Offer loving advice and let those around us take their own paths. Do you want to know how to be effective in other’s lives? Be the water of love that shows them unconditional support even if it is from afar.

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Needing Sisterhood: Water for relationships 

I found even at the age of forty-two that I desire sisterhood. It looks differently as we age. In college it was about partying and being there to cover one another in class. As I graduated it looked more like catch up trios. Now that I am in my forties it looks like quality or quantity. The friends I can call and be real with. The ones that I can admit a flaw and they come with an encouraging word. We spend time together and brunch and talk about the loss of loved ones, kids growing older, or be there to cover in divorce. As I get older it will change. Sometimes we aren’t used to change and consider that we don’t have the same levels of sisterhood.

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What do you really need? Sisterhood must be focused on being there for another person. To wipe their tears when they are in pain. Sometimes to be there in capacities that stretch but having that in return. Water those relationships and watch them flourish the very empty places of our lives. I pray every woman reading this can not only drink their water but use the symbolism of water to give you the joys in life that you need. Create a sisterhood on and offline. Be clear on what you need and be a sister to others while allowing others to make the decisions for themselves that they need.

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