Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and you may be thinking that you don’t want a lot of fanfare consider a staycation. That is totally okay. Let’s talk about a few things when it comes to finding ways to reconnect with your person. This is in direct response to people wanting to have a great holiday for those who celebrate it but don’t want to do the traditional dinner and a movie. Take a staycation and disconnect to connect.
Why a Staycation?
If you are like my husband and I we are always on the go. From being Uber parents, running my business, supporting our children’s schedules can be hard to truly connect. Sometimes it appears you have more roommate moments than anything else. You take care of everyone and find time to take care of yourself let alone your person. For my husband and I we do monthly check ins.
In our check ins we notice if we haven’t taken a date night, ask what is working for us, or sometimes what’s not working. In these quiet conversations we might depending on what is happening have noticed that we need to slow it down a bit. So, although we can’t or just won’t book a staycation every month we do make and execute immediate plans for an at least every 3-month getaway.
Limited Time getting back for Valentine’s Day
Everyone has limited time. I can’t always do as much as I want to in any one area. However, making my marriage a priority is on the top of my list. So, the excuses that we tend to give ourselves I leave them behind. There were years of drowning in diaper changes and more that we didn’t have a set schedule for anything. As our kids have gotten older, they will begin to make their mark. My husband and I do not want to be strangers to one another. Time can get sticky. With that in mind making a declaration and following up on plans is key.
Use your time wisely. Can’t go on a long vacation? Take a weekend road trip and visit a nearby city or state and enjoy one another. Can’t go for a weekend, book an overnight somewhere. Can’t afford an overnight, turn your home into a hotel. Disconnect your phone once the kids go to bed. Bring in elements like decorations and more to make it aesthetically pleasing. Make your loved one their favorite dishes. Put on a movie that you two love and relax.
There are a million and one ways to make it happen. Be willing to set aside what you think things should look like and create the best possibilities for you and your person. Don’t forget to add some decorations like the Lego Valentine heart. Adding a little extra love to the space makes it that much better!
Willingness for Change and Staycations
I hear a lot of women mostly get upset if for instance their husbands aren’t planners. It could be annoying feeling like your husband or boyfriend doesn’t put in the energy that you think they should. This could be a time to bring that conversation up when you have had time to think about it and can speak to them in a way that doesn’t come off as nagging. How do you do that? Bring it up when there’s no conflict. Be clear on what the issue is, what you want, and how the change would make you feel.
Give suggestions too. Don’t say that you aren’t sure what you want without examples. I hate hearing people say I don’t know when you give them the floor to express, and they can’t.
No one is a mind reader. Saying things like “they should know,” is not fair either. No one should know what you want or need especially when you don’t know either. Tell them I would like for us to go away to this place or something like it. Let them know why you want to go and the thigs you want to do while there. Date your partner!
Another Man-made Holidays
This Valentine’s Day may just be another man-made holiday. The bigger issue is that if you are doing the work to express your love to your love this day is another way to do just that. Don’t count out the little things that your person does. The other week my husband and I were debating cereals and I said what I liked, and he said what he liked. That night I wasn’t feeling well. I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up and went to bed, I didn’t think nothing of it. The next day I woke up to the box of cereal I stated, a clean house, and the kids’ lunches made. It was that he listened and acted on it. It made me cry in the kitchen just for being heard.
These are the moments that bring joy into the relationship. Not only did he give me something I wanted but he helped me to be able to have a great start of the next day by not having to do much but focus on me. Think of your person, set aside time, and book that staycation or other forms of showing up in their love language.
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