This is everyone’s first Valentine’s Day during a pandemic. It was a year ago where everyone was free to do as they pleased. Now we are living in the world of precautions. For some it won’t stop the show but for others this isn’t what they had in mind. Valentine’s Day isn’t just for lovers it should be a day to celebrate love in every form.
Self-Love
Listen I know it’s easy for me to talk about self for as I build a life with my husband. I’m here to tell you-self love matters! Finding someone can either be easy or hard. Loving yourself no matter if you’re connected to someone or not, isn’t as easy. What you allow when it comes to how others love you is a direct reflection of where you are in your self love journey and maturity. Think of the issues that have arisen in your life in regards to the relationships you have had. They get worse as the standard of self love diminishes!
Self Love is Daily
I don’t know who needs this reminder but this isn’t about a bubble bath to ease stress. Self love is an everyday movement and mantra that needs to be engulfed in wellness and mindfulness! This means when you are daily aware of yourself you will monitor and correct what you eat, drink, think about, as well as entertain. You’re not going to get it right everyday but you should be aware and strive to be intentional.
Love Your Loved One Right
Listen regardless of who you love-love them right! This half ass lovin’ has to stop. Learn your partners love language. After you learn it, practice it! We can’t give people what we want them to have. This is especially true in a committed relationship. It’s called a commitment for a reason. It’s a two way kind of love. This one way stop is not okay. Ladies men want to be loved and listened to just as much as we do! Anything you want from your partner make sure you’re willing to give it! If not, the dance you’re doing offbeat won’t stop! Let’s love and show love right!
Friendships Adulting Style
Being an adult comes with many layers. I’ve talked about this on my podcast, Conversations with Toi! It’s important that we look into what are circle reveals about us. Honestly who you have on your team matters. This isn’t family where you don’t have a choice. You selected your line up! So be clear it matches where you are. Some folks are only seasonal! The lineup is in your control to switch! You don’t have to keep the line up just from pure loyalty. The loyalty you’re given may no longer fit your current season!
Valentine’s Day Triggers
I used to hate when people diminished my feelings about Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t in the place to feel comfortable in my skin. You’re not allowed to be secure in your singleness and still desire to make a life with someone. It was either or. It made no sense. You can love not having to check in but ready to settle down with someone. You can enjoy making moves the way you want and long for the day to make moves with someone. We are multi-dimensional. You’re allowed to want to be in love as well as be triggered today!
You’re normal and healthy. Work through the feeling but don’t shut it off because someone who is coupled up is telling you you’re okay to feel the way you do! Be healthy in your thoughts. Don’t tell yourself that you’re not worthy of love. Feel that? Acknowledge it! Don’t simmer in it! Process today as healthily as you can!
Today and everyday I want what is best for each of you in this community! Happy Valentine’s Day! I send love to you and yours!
