When you are amid a hard time sometimes it’s not the issue that is hard it’s the feeling of being uncomfortable. How do you navigate life when you are feeling uncomfortable? It’s not easy that is for sure but there are a few things to keep in mind.
Uncomfortable or Hard?
Sometimes the things that feel hard are the feeling of being uncomfortable. For instance, if you know someone doesn’t mean you well and you need to remove from your life, it’s not a hard decision its an uncomfortable one. This means that you don’t just want to go through with it because the people pleasing skills that you once knew all too well is making your decision feel like you’re unable to do so. In the uncomfortableness of doing what you know must be done doing it means that you are putting yourself first and you’re not used to it. Newsflash neither is the one you are setting the boundary with either. They are used to walking over you and you allowing it.
Hard is seeing a child hungry but not having the resources to fix the issue. Hard usually implies that your hands are tied, and you don’t have authority to decide or change a decision.
How do you Process Things?
The way you handle things will impact if the decision you are trying to make lingers or not. For instance, if you are known to be procrastinator many times you wait until the decision is made for you. If you are late constantly you will begin to change once you are written up from your job. When in all fairness you should have recognized the pattern of lateness and intervened for yourself. How you handle difficult times speaks volumes on the lengths of the misery. My therapist told me that I have an issue with needing proof. If I have proof, it influences me to move faster instead of leaning on the inherent disrespect just because I feel disrespected.
My issue of gathering information for long periods of a time means that although I complain I have the keys to my victory the entire time. The delay of it is more of my issue than the person who is causing harm. So, in time what was once uncomfortable is now hard because of my choice to make it so.
Delayed Pain
Again, I am learning that my pain and happiness is a choice. Making a decision that becomes hard is one of the reasons I become a willing participant in my issues. The tools are present but the use of them vs fear being my leader is going to waste my time. Have you ever been with someone that you knew you should break up. My therapist has told me many times that I have more years behind me then in the front of me. So, with that said if you take on someone for years and years knowing you should leave you give yourself a sentence of delayed happiness. This impacts the way I parent and show up in the world. I don’t get to walk in my real essence of happiness and others don’t get to benefit from it.
What is the cost of your Happiness?
This question is the main reason I am in this season of therapy. People don’t go to therapy indefinitely. It is usually triggered by an event or a series of event. I am on a personal journey to establish my own happiness outside of my husband and kids. I am being extremely selfish without neglecting my responsibilities. That is important to note.
My happiness has been auctioned off many times by my own hands. Giving it away at freely to who and what I thought was serving me. I am in a personal uncomfortable stage and some of it I have known since college. I graduated in 2003 so you do the math on that journey. This isn’t about sympathy this is about learning how to free myself and live. So, things will change soon. I am allowing things to change easily in hopes that my joy will be restored, and I know that it will.
Questions to ask in your uncomfortableness
Ask yourself if you are really happy with the decisions you have made? If not, what are you willing to do to get happy again. If you’re uncomfortable fighting others, fighting yourself, and being in a mental turmoil then this blogpost is for you.
Get someone who can help you navigate this that you can trust. Be willing to be honest with yourself even if that means you find out you are the issue. Be proactive and choose you daily.
