We are in travel season where traveling with friends will increase. Whether it’s for a bachelor/bachelorette, friends meet up, girls trip, or more. Traveling already comes with it’s own stress and anxiety. What causes trips to end friendships usually comes from not discussing budgets and itineraries, dishonesty, and learning who you can actually mesh well outside of local events and group text messages.
Traveling Outside the Text Messages
Everyone talks a good game until it’s time to actually pay for things. This is why it’s important to be clear on what the text messages say and what goes down. From the beginning of the travel talk you can weed out a few red flags. Keeping in mind that no everyone is on the same financial plane it’s important to be realistic to attempt to avoid a few issues down the road. So here are a few red flags to pay attention in your normal interactions before you spend money and ruin relationships.
Traveling Red Flags
We love too hard and forget that people reveal who they are a long time before. Ignoring red flags and booking trips is what TikTok is made for. The amount of people fighting at airports or breaking up in hotel rooms happens more than one would think. Red flags aren’t necessarily bad. Seeing a friend who doesn’t have enough and booking above the budget is the problem. So here are some red flags that you should be aware of before you open up a trip in the text messages:
- One friend at booking time keeps confirming the price even though the price has been highlighted
- The one friend who ghosts you at payment time
- The hotel doesn’t need to be nice we are only sleeping in it
- How much and when again? Can I have the money to you a little after the deadline and yall put in for me?
- Friend that keeps asking if a significant other can come when it’s just the girls or boys trip
- Borrowing money from you to pay when local trip money hasn’t been paid back
Again not all of these red flags are necessarily bad but you need to pay attention to what’s being said so you can hear what is being said. Here is what the above statements mean:
- I don’t have it right now, if I keep asking maybe one of yall will put in for me
- They want to go but can’t afford it but also don’t want to be embarrassed that they can’t
- Budget friend who doesn’t have it to spend but will downplay the hotel’s niceness instead of being honest about his/her budget
- If you put in for this friend be prepared to have to carry the friend the entire time. There will most likely be an excuse on payment terms and more
- Leave this friend at home-the velcro couple who can’t healthy and be out of each other’s presence only triggers a disaster down the line
- Do NOT let them borrow from you. You will leave the trip feeling all kinds of animosity
Budget Talk
This is where people miss it. Have the talk. Be clear on the objective of the trip and what the trip could look like. Some people want the trip to be like what they see on Instagram and only have daytrip money. There’s nothing wrong with finding a medium but be clear on a few things. Do the research on airline tickets or other forms of transportation, hotel stays, excursions, potential eateries, and excursions will look like. Once you or a few of you have come together with the pricing of everything decide how it will be split. For instance when I traveled with my friends we were all responsible for our own airfare. The one friend gave me her money to hold and I booked but I took on the responsibility to do that and she trusted me. Do not do this with everyone.
If someone is putting money up or using their debit or credit card be clear on what, how much, and when the deposits are due. The first person who doesn’t honor it has to be cut. Things happen. But we all have a few friends who always have the things happen surrounding the budgets but expects people to pay for them. Also any payments that are made needs to be receipts openly shared with the group. It’s not about do you trust me, it’s about verifying and staying in the loop. All confirmation emails and more need to be shared across the board.
Excursions and Traveling
I have never traveled without doing extra things. Whether it was a concert, a shopping trip, or simply jetskiing it all comes with a price. So honor the pricing of excursions by seeing what everyone wants to do. You can do majority rule or break the group up according to things to do. Book the different things ahead of time. Even when I went on my solo staycation I booked all of my excursions ahead of time. This is helpful to keep costs down and have things paid ahead of time too.
Hotel vs Airbnb
I am not a full fan of the Airbnb. When on vacation, I do not want to cook. So unless we are staying there to give everyone the opportunity to have their own rooms but still eating out I will not go. That may sound like an issue to some but I have my own personal non negotiables too. I understand the benefits of it too. You must know who is staying in what room before you get there. The time to hash that out is before you step foot on the plane. No one should be arguing about a room. Also make sure you bring safety mechanisms to keep you physically safe too.
Hotel Stays and Clarity
If you are staying at the hotel, make sure that the fine print is clear. Who is paying for the hotel? How much does it cost? Does the hotel have the things the majority of those staying needs. I am comfortable in my skin to not go below a 3 star hotel. Things like indoor pools matter to some. Maybe things like gyms are something someone traveling is looking for. Talk it out. Be clear. Everyone should come to the table with at least one hotel in mind. Compare and then decide. Again be clear on who is paying and how much and when the money is due. Also be honest if you will be going but do not want to share a room. People split rooms in my opinion to save money. Not everyone is on team frugal and want the luxury of sleeping when and how they desire.
Alcohol and Plans
No matter what the level of drinking, once alcohol gets involved this is where things go left. For instance, when dining out the concept of splitting bills only makes financial sense if you are on the same mind of spending. There are the friends who order 6 cocktails then want others to split in order to make their bills smaller. Those are the same ones who will call you broke for wanting to be clear on the money and more. I have friends who we split, one person buys one time and then we switch. These issues never come up. There are some friends I wouldn’t book a staycation in my own city and we do well meeting up and not mixing money.
Have your own
No matter who I travel with I have more than enough money to make sure that if I have to get another hotel or more I can. I will not be anywhere without a back up plan in mind. Also be clear that you keep yourself and the ones you travel with safe. Splitting up, inviting strangers into your space, and more doesn’t need to happen. Be aware.
Either way book the trip. If you do not have a friend to travel with consider going alone. I get the people who like company. However do not sit around waiting for the trip to come out off the text messaging and simply enjoy life. Be clear on what you are doing, who is paying for what, and how much things will cost. The trip can be amazing when you learn that all of your friends are not of the same mind. You can’t travel with everyone. Be clear that doesn’t have to end friendships simply on the inability to travel with them. Every friend has their place. Enjoy your friends where they are.
