That is one of the biggest excuses I think I get when people want to defend other people’s bad behavior. You hear it all the time. You get into a confrontation and even with all of the best intentions someone will justify bad behavior. Let me give you a list of my favorites:
- You knew what they meant-come again so I’m supposed to look past the ugly things said to see their heart, right? Last I checked I wasn’t Jesus so that won’t work.
- Bless their heart-that’s what you say when you know someone is off as 2 left shoes and you got to attempt to give them a pass that they didn’t deserve.
- They didn’t mean it-you know that even though they are ugly in their attitudes and demeanor with everyone they come into contact with they just didn’t mean it for you? I’ll wait.
- They meant well-that’s what you say to kids when they are singing but they don’t quite get that note on point to encourage them to keep on going. For adults when you say it that’s one of those, hey they tried but it’s not in them.
- Just forgive them-yes we should but we shouldn’t discount that they need to align their behaviors and check their attitudes
Yes I have had people in my own circle who had come off rather harshly to others around them. As a friend or family member I do NOT feel the need to use excuses. However there is this thing called individual responsibility. I think we tend to forget that. For instance as a parent my own parents have had to bear any issues that I may have caused. They took me to church, raised me to be respectful, tried to do their best, but if I turn out to be the worst person in the nation, there comes a point where they can’t cover me be so far. You can point blame on everyone else but sooner or later like my momma would say, every actor and actress got to lay down their part. So when someone makes excuses for others you have to stop them in their tracks. Let them know that end of the day what happened actually happened. Others need to be accountable just as much as you do. Don’t let others get away with bad behavior in the name of that’s how whomever has always been. That just means whomever has been like that all their life, they been off all their life period. There is no gray area and we need to stop giving out passes for it.
