Again it’s mom week. Sometimes we have the type of mom who is generally overbearing and won’t step back. She’s always in our business and will never accept no for an answer. I know plenty of people who have experienced being mothered this way or they themselves have and do parent this way.
Most mothers mean well. They generally have your best interest at heart. However for some moms taking control and getting it done is all they know how to do. Moms are a wealth of love, support, and care. When a mom feels like she can better results by doing it herself she may take this hands on approach to parenting too far. Let’s be clear this type of parenting works for some households but not all.
Children as they grow they begin to want to make decisions for themselves and often times with an overbearing mother it’s hard to establish the lines of independence. Overbearing moms can influence children in both positive and negative ways.
Here are my tips to keep in mind for both mom and child:
1. Be patient
Yes it’s going to be super hard for an overbearing mom to step back but if you’re this type of mom, assist from the side lines.
If you’re the child know that it’s going to take a few reminders to let mom respectfully know you don’t need her to handle things. Breath but keep being assertive
2. Show love
Most overbearing moms feel like they are losing their place and to an extent they are but you have to readjust your lens. You may not have to come in and make things happen but you can be a wealth of support to your child or grown up child as well.
As the child of an overbearing mom, maybe take a moment to see your mom’s perspective. Often times grown or not a child goes into an immediate anger mode. You don’t have to do this, just see it, acknowledge it and be understanding.
3. Say no
If you’re the overbearing mom sometimes the person you need to say no is to your child. As children grow they get comfortable and sometimes telling that child no and allowing them to figure it out while you observe is best. Also you may have to tell yourself no too. You don’t have to do it all. Allow that child to make mistakes under your covering.
To the child of an overbearing mom sometimes a “no mom I got this will work.” Note: this can still be said respectfully. Please don’t disrespect your mom and use well Toi said, um no I can’t help you on that. No doesn’t mean disrespect when you don’t have disrespect in your heart or tone in your voice.
Overall your overbearing mom loves you and has had to take certain steps to make things happen I’m sure. However as you grow up and make decisions in your own life you may notice you take a lot after her. Thank her always for what she’s has done and be assertive. Sometimes a conversation with your mom will allow her to know when it becomes too much for you to handle.
There are many that would have an overbearing mother than a mom who doesn’t take an interest in their lives at all and trust me these mom’s do exist. Mom, overbearing or not here at ToiTime we love you all. Moms are the backbone to our existence and we appreciate you.
