So many times we find ourselves lashing out at those around us for various reasons. It could be from what we bring to the conversation that has nothing to do with actually is happening. Sometimes you have unresolved issues that you haven’t dealt with that come out at the most opportune times. Whatever the reason, from the heart the mouth speaks. It’s time to listen to it and clear your head.
Personal Lie
The biggest lie that can be told is the one where you lie to yourself. You can’t hide from yourself. You know yourself very well. You know your intentions even when you hide them from the other suspecting party. You know your triggers and you know how to control them for the most part. As we are full Blume into the holiday and festive season it’s time to be real with ourselves and take necessary breaks to ensure that we keep ourselves grounded! It’s not anyone’s fault that you instead of dealing with the issue at hand held it in and then exploded! It’s not anyone’s fault that you are overwhelmed and spoke out of turn! That isn’t any excuse to behave badly. Bad behaving adults is the worse! You are in control of your responses!
Retreat
Holidays are fun but they also can bring out the worse in you and those around you! Take a moment to retreat if you need to! It’s okay to say no you can’t! All invitations don’t have to be accepted! You don’t have to be on every single moment. This need to be overjoyed when you’re feeling less than is just a mirage to a few people. Take the moments you need to clear your head! It will be a better outcome in the long run! Pause those around you even when you can’t pause life. I would rather come off as antisocial to gather my thoughts than to make a scene! Let me give you an example. When my mother in law passed we had a lot of friends over our house. We were intentional on whom we had over. The reason was simple, have those who are and would support us through.
Invite only
We entertained all others at the repass but with the emotions running high I got up mid conversation and walked away. No explanation needed and none given! I needed to regroup. I needed to unwind. I had been holding a lot in during the entire process. My girlfriend didn’t need to be my emotional punching bag because I was stressed! She realized what was happening and didn’t push for an answer to whatever the question she was asking. I’m grateful for her having the wisdom to simply be in my space without prodding! She didn’t think of herself more important than my well being.
Adult Time Outs
Breaks are essential! They are like adult time outs. The same way we would put a melting down toddler in time out is the same way a few adults need to retreat and gather themselves. Words matter. If you abuse your words in the name of stress you will hurt yourself first and others secondly! Be careful with misplaced anger. Instead of acting as if your feelings aren’t valid, get quiet and deal with them. Take a time out and stop lashing at those around you!
Quiet Times
I laugh when people say they have no down time. That is a personal lie you tell yourself and people around you nod in agreement because it sounds good. The right response is you don’t take quiet time. I work with my blog, my kids, husband in tow, events each week, and I’ve added traveling to my schedule and guess what I make time for myself. This notion of not having time shows that you aren’t aware of your needs. Making time is essential. Make time in the morning by getting up before everyone. My weekends start with quiet. That is my time. My time to pray, gather my thoughts, plan my day, and center myself. Now I do the same during the week but I get that extended time on the weekend. You have to learn to create time. When my kids go down instead of watching television-take an hour down time and get back up rocking. You have the time you need to cut out excessiveness of life to have it. What’s more important? Quiet time? Or bad behavior? You make that choice everyday!
Clear your Head
Clearing your head is the best thing you can do daily. I call them resets. Call them whatever you like but get into the habit of making it happen! Don’t allow life to overtake you when you might not be able to have an answer for all of life’s questions but you can move better until an answer comes. Your plate being full is not an okay reason to mistreat others, talk to others with nasty tones, or lash out! Take control and simply don’t speak until you have something better to add to the conversation or situation!! Don’t go into the final parts of the holiday season flustered! Take many breaks!
