ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Ever over think?  Ever go too far in worrying what someone else is thinking or you?  Think about that for just a minute.  Spending time literally worrying about if someone likes you, still loves you, cares about you, or thinks you’re enough is draining.  You zap all of your energy worrying about another person who isn’t the least bit concerned and living life.

We all get caught up from time to time in that mindset but don’t let it take over who you are trying to become.  I’ve been in situations where my thoughts would have me wonder especially if I heard someone talking about me.  Most people aren’t truthful and will tell you what they think you want to hear so you can’t always rely on lip service of others.

Sometimes people get so stuck trying to see what others will say about them that they can’t do anything for themselves.  That’s the type of stuff that sends folks to the hospital quick.  You can literally make yourself sick or even worst in a mental institution.  You can NOT live for another person.  Even as a mom you can’t live for your kids.  You’ll end up a lonely mother while your kids leave and make lives of their own

Let me give you a little nugget of knowledge they will be talking about you no matter what you do. The difference is you will allow life to pass you by and kill the dreams you have inside of you.  I’ve heard people say I want to accomplish whatever tasks but no one in my family has ever done it before.  My response be the first to do it. 

Relationships are beautiful too.  Someone who will be with you and encourage you to accomplish your goals but even in relationships there are times when your dream won’t always have your cheerleader there standing over you and helping you to the goal line.  Yes, grab your pearls.  In relationships there are many phases and what you expect support to look like won’t always be wrapped in the bow you want. 

If you are the type that needs that bow my suggestions is find another source within yourself because you will experience frustration like never before wanting others to do for you.  Nobody on this planet will have you like you have you and that’s a lesson you need to master.  If you don’t you will be unsatisfied and go from person to person trying to fill a void that only you can fill.

Do you know the excuses you give yourself when you’re not satisfied and on top of that the people you put on pedalstools?  If you can’t treat you like the person you are fond of than you need to take a mental break and refocus.  There’s relationships you keep because they supplied a sense of peace but you know what I’m learning is that peace will be temporary.  You have to know if the person not the person you have painted is real for you. 

Sometimes we hold onto what is familiar because we don’t like change.  We would rather ride it out and be miserable.  You need to be secure and the only way to do that sometimes is to take away that cushion that you built.  You can soar high but not when you’re carrying folks that don’t even want to be on your team.  They show you by their actions that they done with you.  They tell you to leave them alone in many forms but that child inside of you thinks you can love them to love you right. 

Forgive some old stuff.  I’m convinced we struggle with old stuff and that makes us act like children where we are supposed to be grown and know better.  Let some old stuff go.  I had an ex that was a douche but I only wanted to remember the good.  So when we got back together I wanted him to show me the same love in the same way.  You can imagine the lesson I leaned and quick. 

Your happiness, your journey will be stalled by you.  You have to drop people who don’t serve you. Anyone you have to play the see me game leave them.  You know what the see me game is right? You have to keep saying and acting in a way that makes them happy just to get the basic love that should have been there from the beginning.  I’ve been in messed up situations where you finding yourself having to play a clown doing the most to be what someone else wants in order to get attention, affection, care etc.  Time out for that mess.  Don’t go down that road.  Understand in order to find love you have to love all of you.  All the weirdness, crazy, unbalanced parts of you.  Start your week this week commanding respect in how you respect yourself.  If you can’t say you love you more than putting up with the see me game, then you know what to do. ✌  It’s time out for these games.  You know you are playing it.  You end up somewhere crying and that person says you’re weak and you’re not.  One of them cries is going to awaken you.  When you awake you will end the game. You are getting stronger trust me nut sometimes you got to shut the game off.

This week reclaim yourself.  In order to make moves make them from the inside out.

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