I was watching a video of a judge that was reprimanding a couple. The mother of the child that was brutally beat and killed was held responsible too for the heinous death as she should be. However the part that stuck out to me is the fact that while the mother was working the man was home not working. Now do not confuse this with men being stay at home dads because the wife has a higher paying job. I understand that. I was a full-time stay at home mom for many years. The cost of daycare can be a person’s whole salary or very close to it. Sometimes it’s not cost-effective to have two people working if the income coming in will not put a dent to anything. If the man is the one making the less money it makes sense to have him stay at home and keep his kids no different from it is for a woman. I do not think it makes him any less than a man to do so. I would rather somebody be financially responsible than struggle any day when you don’t have to.
My issues aren’t with the stay at home dads but the fake stay at home dads we have in the society is who I am coming for. You are not a stay at home dad because you don’t want to work and are comfortable with your woman taking care of you. I don’t know where we strayed with the next generation but if there was ever an epic fail like it is today, men are missing it. This is not a hate men blog. No this is hey get it together blog. There is no need for any man sitting at home waiting on his woman to bring home a check while he does nothing. You not even selling lemons on the highway? Not flipping a burger? My husband has worked 2 jobs to make things work. Not because he wanted to but because he had to. You won’t be able to convince a real woman to a man not working is a good thing. I have a wonderful father who barely took 5 days off of work since I was a preteen. That speaks volumes. My grandfather is in his 80s and he is “retired” but still works and does odd jobs like busting concrete and ground work. For lazy men let me school you that means the government says you have earned your keep you can relax and he says naw son let me get out here so my wife can relax and make sure she good. His kids are grown. He is still out here doing what needs to do to make sure there is steady money coming into his home. I spoke to him last week and told him he really could give a few young cats a lesson on what hard work looks like. So from where I sit I am not here for no non working, sitting on his ass, don’t want to work but would rather play video game man.
The toddler was mostly in this do nothing man’s care as she endured over 50 injuries and most of the injuries were brutal even for an adult. So this man didn’t work was a monster and decided to beat the hell out of a child. Too much idle time on his hand. A job would have not given him that much access to that child. Would he still be a monster? Most likely but damn he literally day in and day out over a short period of time beat a child. I can’t even fathom that baby’s last moments. I look at my kid and they frustrate me like no one can. To think I would lose control and inflict pain is unimaginable. I barely beat their behinds let alone abuse them. We have to step it up. Both the mom and dad was wrong if that was her dad. The amount of men who are beating and killing our kids don’t even be the dads. It’s usually a no account boyfriend that we freely turn over our kids to so they can rape and hurt them. Let me school you like my momma would school you, there ain’t that good of the D to allow me to put my kids in harm’s way. I will not turn a blind eye to my child over a man. These babies are defenseless and we are the ones leading them to the foolishness. We already have to wonder if a stranger is going to manipulate and mess with our children however its the monster you know. Let me say I can’t tell you as a woman how long you should date a man before you allow them around your child. I do say you need to spend some seasons with him before you leave them unattended. Watch how he looks at your child. Watch and see what he does when he gets angry. Listen to your child. Check your children. Be prayerful. Stop getting a new man and being so head over heels that you leave caution to the wind.
What can you say if you aren’t mindful of your child when something happens. Yes its the monster who did wrong but if you didn’t pay attention you bare the responsibility. The mom knew that the child had at least one serious head injury. This man with blunt force hit this baby so hard that she had at least 10 dents in her skull. Think about that for a moment. She was hit that hard and no one noticed negative signs from that? Or it was noticed but the care level wasn’t there. I shutter sometimes when I read these headlines about abuse and death of children. Everytime one of these precious babies die it only shows the potential the world loses for these beautiful lights to have given something back to it. We need our babies but the only way to guarantee that is to do better and screen who we allow them to be around. Let me also tell you that you got to watch friends or family. There is not one member of my family or set of friends that I would put anything past. That doesn’t mean I have them pegged as anything that simply means that I will never allow my relationship with them cloud my judgement. If my child said something happens I got their back first and foremost. I will never take anyone else other them as they were given to me to protect. I won’t even allow them around folks who I have tested myself and see they don’t add up. I do not make one apology for that. I could care less about your spoiled adult feelings on that. They are mine and my husband and there are no do overs.
