Today is national mature woman day. It was a way to celebrate the intelligence and beauty of older women. However let’s talk about the lessons I have learned from the mature women in my life that I want to share with you. In addition as women age, do you reveal your age, like being called auntie or ma’am and more.
To be an Auntie or Sister
Recently 36 Influencer, Jackie Aina made waves by asking followers and people in general not to call her auntie. This caused a firestorm online. Being an auntie is usually reserved for women over any age that you look up to as family or just out of admiration and respect. However any woman of any age are setting limits on what they are called. So for many years, I called my mom’s friends auntie to show respect and embrace them as a auntie figure. SO be careful if you call someone auntie and they ask you not to because it usually has an age connotation associated with it. The flip to that there are younger kids under the 18 that seeing Jackie would see her as an auntie.
There are some like Mary J. Blige (age 53) who prefer to not be called Auntie due to the fact that it makes them feel “old.” She has asked those 10 years older than her to call her sister or friend instead of Auntie. Again it’s a preference that should be respected.
Age is Just a Number
I have so many mixed opinions and by opinions I mean mixed reactions from women of a “certain age.” By the way I personally hate the term of a certain age. I am 42 and there are women older than me who look younger than me. This notion that we must remain “young” is always problematic. The ones who look younger than some are praised. I have no problem with taking care of yourself. Honestly, we all have to find ways to do that. However, the ones who simply just age and do as they please why aren’t they praised if they don’t surprise the world with their age and looks?
There are some who embrace that they are aging. My mom recently turned 61 (she’s okay with revealing her age) and she was proud as she explained to me the amount of people she knows who have transitioned. She taught me that she loves the fact that at her age she has so much life yet to live. For her and I preference that it’s a personal choice that her age only reveals the wisdom that she has gotten and the wisdom that she has yet to learn.
For some other women they will never reveal your age and leave you guessing. Some do it because they want to preserve their time within themselves and focus on what they choose to focus on. Another reason is ageism. It is a real thing that once you reveal your age you are judged on who you are, what you can or can’t do or more. Ask any woman in general and you will hear how much we are judge and judge others.
Gray Hair and Wisdom
I know women who are “young” and have gray hair. I honestly love it. However there are women who as they get older and their hair goes gray it becomes a reminder of their age and they dislike it. When my great-grandmother passed she was 95 years young. Her beautiful gray hair is one of the things I remember about her. She was one of the wisest women that I know. One thing about the younger women we didn’t mind sitting at her feet and learning lessons from her life. In this day and age we don’t always listen to our “elders.” I personally feel that woman of any age should make the personal decision to color or leave their grays.
Lessons from the Older Woman I know
- Learn to make decisions on what you want and not who you are trying to impress
- Travel and don’t let any one person dictate what goals you can or can’t do
- Love your family and build strong relationships
- After 40 that light bulb of not caring what others think will turn on-don’t dim the light-let it shine
- Looks are great but as you get older you will need more than beauty to carry you in life
- Don’t give of your cup to everyone and leave yourself with nothing you will regret it later
- Dance like no one else matters
- If you don’t use it you will lose it
- Live a little life will teach you all of the lessons you ignored in your youth
- Know your worth-and if this is a challenge don’t wait until someone uses all your worth before you remember this
- Speak your mind but being crass doesn’t have to go hand in hand
I have embraced the older Aunts, mothers, and more that have come in my life. Age is a number that you pray will continue to go up as you get older so take care of you and enjoy it. Women when they age are like fine wine and get better and better. Don’t sleep on them. Nothing to me has been more beautiful than seeing a woman who is older who takes care of herself, is wise, and lives on her own terms. So for every woman who considers themself a woman of a certain age, we salute you in the wisdom, the elegance, the lessons, and everything that you have to offer. What are some lessons that you have taught a younger woman or learned from an older woman? Make sure you give the women who have shown us the way their due!
