So this has been an interesting weekend to say the least. Today I wanted to talk about anxiety and how it works to hinder you but can be overcame. I went to a funeral over the weekend by myself and before you even think NO I am not about to blog the funeral. This is more about me getting through it. No one likes funerals. They aren’t designed to be liked. However for me they are a place of extra anxiety. I remember as a kid going to maybe 2 or 3 funerals. I can tell you who they were and the relationships of the people. My very first one I was an usher and I fell into some vomit and let’s just say I was super embarrassed.
The second one I got sick physically and I still do when I go. To view a person’s body makes me sick thinking of it. Even when my mother in law passed almost a year ago, the fear of the whole situation made me frozen. I got through it because just like on Saturday, I had to. My stomach was hurting. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom a thousand and one times. My hands were sweating. I was having several panic attacks. I want to shout out my support system who talked me through it because had it not to be there for a good friend, I wouldn’t have gone or I would have gone, felt sick and left. I am super glad that I pushed past it. See anxiety is an awful feeling. If you let it ride your life you will find that you miss out on so much. I know this to be true because I have missed so many social activities behind it. I would agree to go to something, get anxious and then back out. I would never tell people why it was just too much of an overcoming feeling for me to deal with so I wouldn’t.
Then others would get tired of asking me to attend so they wouldn’t. I knew why so I never asked or even pushed the conversation. Also some people would invite me to something never tell the dress code and here I am showing up to something under dressed and knowing all eyes were on me and making me feel like running or not going to the next event. All of these can be debilitating. They cause you to lose out on life. I have been pushing myself in the last few months to push past it but I can’t say it has been easy. It’s hard to go to things alone but its something that is necessary so I have been doing it. I feel great and I feel like every time I do it, it makes me stronger for the next event.
So if you are dealing with anxiety, go in your time but push through. You will feel super sick, maybe feel like you are going to throw up, but its the best to accomplish the goal of attending whatever would have normally held you back. So for your Monday motivation, acknowledge wherever you are feeling in adequate and take one step to beat it and you will amaze yourself at what you can do if you push through!
