I would love to say that everything goes well all the time but that would be a lie. Toxic positivity will have you fake smiling through it all. It’s a great trait to be upbeat when life throws its curve balls. However you’re human it’s okay to not feel life at the moment!
Life’s Crushes
Like my momma would say, if you live long enough you’re going to experience the highs and the lows. You will feel defeated ever so often. You are going to have the days when misses feel impossible to get through. Have that moment to feel that. Life crushes can be difficult. It doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to get up from! I cringe when I hear people berate someone just because they felt a disappointment and didn’t jump up from joy!
Feeling It
Yes you are allowed to feel pain, heartache, and any of life’s normal ups and downs. You don’t have to be happy about it all the time. There’s a difference between happiness and joy! Joy is knowing that even at life’s hardest moments you will be successful. Happiness doesn’t have to be felt or shown in down times to know that joy is there to cover you through. I’ve been hit a thousand and one times. Although I know in the end I wouldn’t stay in defeat long, I still felt it! I cried. I was hurt.
Pain in Temporary
Although we know that pain is temporary, it doesn’t take the sting of it. Pain hurts. It’s a reminder that something we did or say didn’t work. It’s a reminder that something we said or did failed. Failure in itself hurts. I have failed many times. Each time it feels like you’re unable to breath. No one sets out to fail but if you’re not careful in what you do, who you’re with, and what you entertain it came be a hard fall.
How Long Do You Let the Pain Stay?
No one can answer that. It’s a personal journey. I had a failure that felt like it lasted for over a year. I was depressed and feeling guilty. When I look back on it my only regret was not remembering who I was. Had I just had more encouragement within myself that year could have been less. It doesn’t mean that the consequences of my actions would have been less but at least I wouldn’t have had to be down about it for so long!
How to Motivate Yourself in the Midst of Pain?
This is why it’s important to have a routine of self care. Although you can’t bubble bath your way out of a scary situation you can cover yourself in mental wellness. For instance, I have a routine of listening to motivational podcast daily. I start my day this way! I’m hearing from people who talk about struggles and how to come out. It builds a bank of motivation that I can draw from in hard times.
Build a Motivational Bank
I have friends who are about their business. When I feel down about something business wise, I can draw from the bank of encouragement. Another example is also taking care of myself physically helps me to keep my mind clear. All of this helps in the low times. I know I’m susceptible to get depressed so I engage with my therapist before I get into a crisis. This allows for me the blow to be a lot less.
Chipper People Have Problems Too
Stop acting like happy and chipper people don’t have issues. They have problems just like everyone else. They have heartache and pain just like the next one. I can’t say if chipper people are putting on for crowds. I assume some do. However there are people who naturally have the ability to smile through hardships where as I don’t. I don’t knock their ability. I tend to allow my face to express itself even if I’m not saying a word. I’ve gotten better at handling blows but no one person is either right or wrong. I’ve never heard of the Heaven of Happiness that only allows the chipper in!
At the end of the day life is messy. It’s not always cherries and rainbows. There are hardships that must be dealt with. If we are honest we don’t always pass every tests well. Lessons are there to make us better. If you woke up on the “wrong” side of the bed this morning or any morning; ask yourself why. Is there something you’re struggling with? Do you have a bank of encouragement?
What are your immediate needs to help you? Sometimes it’s really something long term that we mix up with short term goals. Evaluate yourself. Allow yourself to feel the pain but don’t stay there. It’s okay to not want to adult sometimes. It’s not okay to think that other adults are responsible for your personal joy, happiness, or peace.
Happy or Grumpy Monday…Let’s do this!
