Good Monday morning to you. I hope that your day is starting off on the right foot. Today’s topic is about recognizing when you need help and being okay to ask for it. Knowing who the right person is that can offer assistance. Lastly getting into the groove of outsourcing and not dumping problems onto any one person.
Monday Thoughts and Asking for Help
If you live a little like the old folks would say you know how irritating it can be to ask for help. We all want to be self sufficient and self sustaining. However in the real world nothing happens overnight. As you grow and learn and thrive you will notice that the ability to ask for help is less about being weak. It’s about knowing what you need. Also being efficient in getting the right help. Lastly, learning to use the help to become better at whatever it is you are working on. So when you find yourself afraid to ask for help is it based upon the perception that is laced with something that happened in your past
For instance, if you asked a co-worker or boss for help and they made you feel small asking another co-worker, same boss, or a new one would make you think the situation will happen again. Sadly it could. However being stuck in not completing something in the fear that you will be misunderstood is real but needs unpacking. Life isn’t build on how knowing it all. Often times help is how many things, brands, etc are made.
Who is the Right Person to Ask for Help?
Often times we hope it is our friends and family. I am not saying that they can’t be a resource. They can. However, often times friends and family have their own layered issues, don’t believe in your work, or simply aren’t in the position to help. So when you feel left down ask yourself were they the ones to help or would helping you be a point of comfortableness. An example is starting a business. If you could simply go to family and friends and have them support it would be easy. Nothing in life is always easy. You may not want to outsource the ask outside of your circle simply because you are uncomfortable to ask a stranger for help. By strangers I mean investors and more.
If the person you are asking for help doesn’t have the resource to help-why ask? If your issues is with needing a graphic designer you may ask someone who is in accounting if they know someone. However I highly doubt you would expect them to have the skills to actually do the work for you. If you needed a cake would you ask your Influencer friend to make the cake? No. You would ask for a referral. So ask the right questions to get the right answers. This is where dumping comes in.
Monday Dump Sessions
If you work in the office you know that personal conversations are a thing. Everyone knows when that coworker who has no filter tells you about her love life, kids, and more. However having someone to confide in should never be one sided. If you are finding that your issues are causing you to be codependent on a particular friend than it may be time to get some professional help.
What I mean is that friends and family do not mind helping. However they can’t be expected to carry the load all the time. Do not feed me the “if you were my friend…you would, line!” That line can be reversed to state “if you were my friend you wouldn’t dump on me!”
Many relationships go to the other side of frustration when one party feels as if they are responsible for fixing things. No one person should be responsible in providing an answer, paying a bill, helping with family issues all the time. We as humans can’t alway take on other people’s issues while maintaining us too.
Asking for Help
Sometimes in asking for help you may have to be willing to admit that you did something wrong. As a kid I seriously hated having to go to my parents and ask for help. I never wanted to be the one to admit I was wrong. This caused me to hide, lie, and then get into more serious trouble while calling myself fixing it. It’s humbling to have to say I messed up or didn’t do what was necessary to be done. It took me years to get comfortable in my flaws. Not make excuses to continue being flawed.
So if you know you need help-research who is the right person to help. Outsource your needs. Know that asking for help is strength. Balance what you can when dumping on others. Be clear in if you need a listening ear or a fix. Tell the person who you are talking to when you need one or both met.
Have the best Monday. You can do all that you have been assigned to do. Trust yourself! Happy Monday!
