Good morning. How are you doing? Like really doing? Not the one word answer of fine we give to one another just to say we answered. How you are doing is important. Sometimes pausing is necessary. Pausing gives you time to think. It gives you time to retreat. Whatever the reason for pauses we are going to explore it!

Pause for A Cause

You ever date someone and they hit you with that let’s be friends line. It’s a line that both men and women use when they want to take a break. The let’s be friends line is so you can be on an emotional retainer. These types of pauses are well within your control. The second someone ask for a pause, don’t fight it. Let it happen. However the friends part drop it. Not because you want to be malicious or petty but because you don’t need an emotional retainer. Use this pause in your life to reflect if the time invested was worth anything. The pause doesn’t have to be a detriment but don’t allow the person to believe that like a wondering 2 year old you will be waiting for them to pick you up when they are done! Nope! You aren’t! Pause with intent on moving towards your future. This pause should make you smarter and reflect on any red flags you might have missed. This is a pause for protection.

Pause for Protection

We just mentioned how a pause in a relationship can create protection. One or both of you have invested more than the other. To continue you would have been too invested and might not see the person for who they really are. It’s like a kid who is about to run in the street. The pause in the adult grabbing the child often times saves them. The pause from whatever you have going on often times saves you from making mistakes you would have continued to do. Pauses are like time outs for adults. Often times like a stubborn child we dislike them because we only focus on one side of the equation.

Pause for Self-Care

Yesterday I was so irritated with myself for resting for the day. I usually like to get so much done. This pause was great for restoring. We can’t always be on; not even in a pandemic. We may need to take a break to do absolutely nothing. I mastered the nothing part but I did what most do, complained about why I paused. One of my great friends had to remind me to let that go. It’s ok to pause for self-care. It was good to relax. When I looked at the to-do list the things that truly needed to get done was done. So all of that complaining wasn’t necessary. I was accomplishing my goals thinking I was behind. That rest was everything! I enjoyed my children and we had time outside all weekend long. It felt great to not be on a schedule!

Pause In Decision Making

I am a planner by nature but big decisions out of fear will make me be impulsive. I do not like that I operate like this and often times instead of reacting out of my gut reactions, I like to bounce decisions off of those I respect to be able to soundly help me pause. I don’t have to give an answer all the time right off the cuff. It’s okay to give a decision a full thought especially when it could affect your future. This is a great pause that we need. Don’t think about just the here and now. How will you feel about a decision if all things stay the same in 5 years? Can you live with the decision? These are important questions to ask yourself!

So today as you continue on with the to-do list, working from home, home schooling the children, managing anxieties, surviving with limited resources…put a pause in your day. What can wait? What needs an answer right now versus later? What can you eliminate out of your life to accommodate the change you want? You have to be able to pause. Pausing is healthy. Pausing is protecting. Don’t always be so far on go-take that pause today!