During this Blogiversary I will share various lessons learned. One of the things that you must have outside of a desire to want to blog is the ability to have thick skin. Even with being vulnerable to sharing your story remember there will be someone who will find a way to tear you down. Even in situations like myself where I am the best story teller of my story I still get messaging that is negative. There are a lot of mean people in the blogging world that we don’t talk about so let’s dive in.
Mean Women and Uplifting Messaging
Some of the worse people you will find are at empowering conferences. Its the truth. You’re not supposed to mention or speak on it but its real. I have encountered the countless amounts of people who are the most venomous in real life. Some I wouldn’t be friends with in real life. You have to know that coming into blogging. Blogging is a personal journey that will take you in front of crowds.
You need to be prepared for the crowds. Sometimes the groups of women who stand for empowering have some of the meanest folks I have ever met in them. Someone told me to my face that I wasn’t fashionable to be at the event. I was told I was bringing the event’s look down. Yet that same group wants to market to be inclusive. Your relationships with other bloggers can be inclusive or exclusive. However if you are marketing inclusivity but you only do what you do for your friends, consider what the term inclusive really means.
Know Who You Are
As strong and confident as I am I will admit that made me feel a bit insecure. I get that most people go out of their way to showcase this high fashion life. It took me back that my look was bringing down the entire event. I looked that woman in her eye and said “thanks fashion police.” I never had a talk with the organizer because I saw that the organizer of the event was great friends. Although you can’t always be held to the vices of your friends, it let me know that the organizer isn’t that far off from the same sentiments. So I had to regain myself to finish the event. I will most likely never collaborate with that blogger. I won’t place myself in the circles of women who are determined to be rude or mean.
Not Everyone’s Tea
Now from that situation which I have many more stories it’s not a jealous issue about not being liked by all. I made it clear that I am not trying to be the most popular blogger. I want my work to speak for itself. Also, keep in mind when you speak on wellness it will resonate for the audience who is looking for self improvement. I am not the blogger showing off my curtains or boots. That in itself makes the space different than other blogging spaces. The woman not liking my fashion isn’t the issue it’s the rudeness and boldness that is the issue. I would never tear someone down. My mom always taught me I wouldn’t be everyone’s tea so I grew up being secure in myself since I was a child.
Formulate your Squad
Be yourself. Whether you have on the latest boots, or the swankest handbags, your character speaks volumes. I have gotten more campaigns for my work ethic and hard work than worrying about everyone liking me. One thing I would suggest is to be you. I represent myself well no matter if I am talking to the janitor of a company to or the CEO. This is what you need to focus on. People may not remember what you say but they will remember how you treated them (Maya Angelou). When you find your squad it will make it easier to go to events and conferences. When I first began I was dealing with high levels of anxiety. It took so much for me to attend some events. The one with the woman saying I was bringing the event down, it took a lot of deep breaths to get there.
Represent Yourself Well
You never know what people are going through. Maybe more people realize that more, now that Covid-19 is here. I didn’t know that woman. You may not know the one who will attempt to tear you down either. But one thing I believe in is karma is real. I could have been completely defeated when that woman said what she said. She had no idea how much it took me to get in the building.
She will never know how hurtful her words were. In blogging, people just want to get things and be in the building to get to the be the one at the top. Listen, if that are your motives it will be a long road ahead. Blogging needs to come from a place of love and desire to help someone. Remember that people see you. They are watching you and how you move. Be clear in your intentions and be sure to represent yourself in the best light. Do like I do and rise above the mean women and people. One thing that situation taught me is that I was stronger than I thought I was. I didn’t stop blogging or going to events because of the comment.
You can step in this industry and be yourself. Continue with a good work ethic. Be kind. It’s really that simple. Kindness is free. Find your tribe. Love on them and embrace them. While you embrace your tribe treat others well. Brands are looking and they can see through fake behavior. Step into this industry with confidence even if you have to encounter a mean person. Rise above it!
