Dating especially when you’re serious is about trying to see if the one who caught your eye can build a life with you. A part of that life is going to be about your faith. Is it important for men to worship with their mate? Do different faiths intermingling cause issues in how children are raised or how a house is run? Does race matter. Is love just love?
I asked the panel of men and their answers were great as usual. Faith and race does matter when you’re trying to build.
Single Man Dating: race plays a key role for me. I’ve never dated anyone seriously outside of my race and I’m black. I was raised that if they can’t use your comb don’t bring them home. I think my family wouldn’t necessarily be mad if I did if I was happy but I just never tried to step out. Don’t get me wrong I’ve slept with women outside of my race but that’s about it.
Divorced Man: I was married to a white woman and I’m black and there were differences all around. It took a little to get used to. The family dynamic was different as well but it’s what I accepted because I loved my wife. My family was very welcoming however hers wasn’t in the beginning. It boils down to personal preference. For me she was an awesome woman and I didn’t see color. My boys however always made comments about I was going to have a great credit rating or better sex but that was about it.
Separated Man: I’m white and I dated a black woman before. It was a serious relationship and the amount of stares I would get was crazy. I was told I was robbing black men of their sisters and mothers. My thought was I really loved her and from what she told me she only dated white men. I wasn’t interested in her color but I can’t deny that it didn’t bring about these feelings of taboo from others around her. I was married to a white woman but again it wasn’t a preference I just really loved my soon to be ex wife.
Married Man: I’ve never dated outside of my race. I’m black and that’s my preference. I think if you date or marry outside of your race you have to be a stronger couple than most just from the amount of people already hoping for you to not be successful.
Race will be an issue between the couple if it’s made to be an issue. However outside of the relationship it may always be. You have to know what you want and with any relationship set your goals as well as be clear to keep the bond strong.
Now with religion the conversation went pretty intense.
Single Man Dating: I can’t see myself with a woman who isn’t of the same faith. How can two walk unless they agree? How can we run a home and not be on the same page. Another issue on being equally yoked isn’t even just on faith but about how faith is practiced. I know couples who grew up in the same church who don’t practice the same way and all they do is argue about their kids, etc. Why would I want that?
Divorced Man: I see two different faiths working together if the couple wants it to. People talk about their faith but what they really mean is organized religion. I’m not here for it. People need to know where they stand on the important issues and go from there. I know plenty of people from many religions who don’t represent what they claim to be. Ask questions.
Separated Man: my wife and I are separated due to her being Christian and me being Muslim. I know it appeared to be two different spectrums but I was honest and upfront from the beginning. She spent so much time trying to get me to convert and I said I wouldn’t and I never asked her to either. We talked about allowing the kids to decide and that we wouldn’t push each other’s views one way or the other. I even allowed all holidays to be celebrated but she took me on like some school project to get me to change and I said from day one let me be me.
Married Man: your faith will depict what you allow or what you won’t. If we are together I want to know you and I see from the same pages. Split faiths don’t work.
Ladies, what do you think? Have you ever been in this situation? If not would you be willing to be in a relationship with a man of a different faith or race than you? Things to consider especially when you’re dating.
