Happy Monday. Let’s talk about perfectionist. There are many who like me used to feel the need to be perfect. This sense of being performative shows up not only in school, work, but in every area of our lives. Perfection is one of the outliers of anxiety. Instead of being perfect commit to showing up as your best self.
Perfect or Bust
Although I commend the fact that since 2nd grade, I have kept a 4.0 average while in school the problem is that I missed out on a lot to achieve. I didn’t have a normal childhood whatever that would mean because I allowed the stress of getting it all done get in the way. Many times, I wish I could go back and correct that about myself. That perfection mentality has shown up in ways like people pleasing. The need to have other people show that they approve of my choices or actions used to be so debilitating. This is why people who are tunnel vision on being perfect can find themselves taken advantage of by others.
Therapy and Learning to Let go off being Perfect
Many people think that therapy is for traumas only. However, that is not the case. You can go to therapy for several reasons and anxiety with the ideology of being perfect was one of the things I tackled. For instance, one of the activities that my therapist was teaching me to see things in the right sense. I get a lot done but she asked me to view my day as if nothing got done.
What would be the reality? Would the world stop? No. Would my world stop? No. This exercise alone sent me into a panic attack in her office. I was glad it did. I needed someone other than me or my husband to see me in real time. Its debilitating to continue marching to other people’s beat. It’s also not even others that place this pressure on us. We allow us to break us. So, if you are dealing with the need to be perfect, get in your mind and correct. Let some things not work out. It will work out the way it was meant to.
Perfect is not the Goal
Show up as your best self. I attended the Annual Lunch for Valley Forge Tourism Board last Friday. One of the guest speakers was Nicole Lynn. You may know her as the agent of Philadelphia Eagles, Quarterback of Jalen Hurts. One of the things beyond her accolades was her fight. Being African American and a woman in a male dominated field she allowed “excellence to be her currency.” This wasn’t about her outward appearance. She deserved to be where she is because she can do the job well. The amount of no’s she got along the way and not giving up matters. Show up as your best self and not your perfected self. Sometimes showing up as your best self makes the difference.
Letting Go
I would love to say that letting go is easy. It’s never easy. You will have to change the way you speak to yourself. That is the greatest lesson. The downing of yourself because you made a mistake, or few must stop. Life isn’t pretty with a bow. The way we show up for say on our social media are tailored made to look good. Behind the scenes of your favorite following is a messy life. Sometimes things align and other times it doesn’t. Remember that. No one person has it all together. We are all trying to make it. So, no more perfectionist type of mentality. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. This is something that I apply daily. You can too.
Monday Vibes
Have the most amazing Monday. Make this week a triumph one. Whatever level of encouragement you need get it. There are many ways to fill your Monday cup. Listen to good music or podcast. Read a good book or magazine. Encourage someone else and watch it flow to you as well. Get what you need. I believe in you and send so many good vibes your way. You got this! Happy Monday.
