ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Have you ever heard someone being described by another person and think man they seem like cool people but when you meet their attitude don’t match?  People some times aren’t cut from the same cloth and that’s okay but what we agree with, and who we invest our interest in speaks volumes.

For instance there is a person I met a few years ago.  Everyone raved on how big of a heart someone has.  It made me go on alert because usually when someone says that a person has a big heart I know it’s wrong but I begin asking questions.  After a few interactions with the person I realized that their attitude sucked on ice.  I mean the way he/she treated those around them was horrible.  Why would people push this person to the top?  Quick answer is they wanted or needed something from them. 

I thought maybe this person was only mistreating me in such a manner but then it became apparent that their ego was bigger than I even imagined.  For me regardless of how much money a person makes, stature, or status is how people treat one another.  This person seemingly has it all except character. 

I don’t know of one person that hadn’t been burned by this person.  Yet in spite of it, people rally behind them.  Now unless my Spidey senses are off, nothing about this person’s character is appealing.  I actually don’t do much speaking outside of a head nod at this point.  Listen if you think character doesn’t matter these days you are sadly mistaken. 

Who you are and what you put out need to match.  It’s like meeting me and then I’m yelling in the streets I hate people.  How does that match who I am and what I want to put out.  For instance when you’re in your teens and your 20s the things you get into, lies, partying, drinking, clubbing, etc are all apart of growing up.  You don’t have it together in your 20s however when 30 comes around you can’t still use the young and dumb excuse.  Like my mom would say “naw baby that’s just you.”

So if you want people to take you seriously you have to change not your essence of who you are, but what you allow to be in your presence, what you agree with, how you do what you do, etc.  If not you will be like that person where folks are in your face high fiving but behind you talking about how you’re no good.

I’ve come a long way from where I was in my 20s.  I think maturity and becoming a parent is what moved me to make my internal changes.  Every person has something or someone in their lives that make you line all the way up.  If you say no not me I’ll forever be who I am then my answer is you haven’t lived yet.  Everyone got that thing out there that is badder than them and it  will humble you.

In life it’s like playing gold fish.  You pick up cards along the way. When you get cards that don’t match you and your destiny it’s back in the pile to try again.  If you have cards that you’re holding right now that you know don’t mean you well or will not get you to your destiny don’t low key try to hold on to them.  Put them back.  You will need to know where they are as you may need them again but for right now leave them.

I think we pick up some cards because we feel we need the same hand our friend has.  We need to make sure we walk paths that are identical to people we look up to.  The issue is that you don’t know the struggles that come with what you see.  You don’t know the tests that come along trying to play the hand that wasn’t given to you. You can’t get the same benefits from your hand like the next.  You can’t walk in seasons that aren’t for you.  Just like the people who are complaining about how hot it is right now can’t jump the season to Fall to make them happy, stop trying to jump the seasons in your life.  If the cards don’t match, let them go you’ll thank me later trust me. 

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