ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Listen I love technology.  It can be a gift and a curse at the same time if you allow it.  Remember everything you do and the things you want all revolve around choice. 

Sometimes we can allow technology to make us do some of the craziest things and then we act or throw the attention on other people.  For instance how many women have stalked a man online and then said well, he acts a way that makes me do it.  No one can make you, no one can hold you to a certain standard, and no one can manipulate you unless you had an opening of willingness.

I know this isn’t the normal easter time message we want to hear but let me be clear there are numerous single women sitting around stalking a man’s page as he snaps pictures with wives and children all the while he’s texting her some excuse of he’s just keeping the peace.  There is a woman all in a man’s inbox because of the signs she had that opened the door to check and instead of trusting her instinct she insisted on having proof of his infidelity.

There is a side chick knowingly or unknowingly that is using the Internet to research the signs that her man isn’t being all in.  So again the Internet can be a gift and a curse. 

Let me just say that we need to research ways of empowering ourself in any situation but what we don’t need to do is use the Internet through social media to embarass, devalue, or curse ourselves, another man, or another woman.  How many times have you seen drama play out on instagram over a man?  Unless you don’t have an account than you know it’s quite impossible. 

Any time you find yourself going to these means, you have to do a self check.  Remember the choices?  Use your power of choice to see you are having an internal issue that may on the surface be attached to a person or thing, but inevitably it shows you need to do some internal surgery.  It’s time to come off the Internet and take a break. 

Ladies, loving any man or woman in this day and time can open you to a sea of emotion that if you’re not ready for can disturb the part of you that you have never known.  And there isn’t a woman alive who hasn’t experienced the highs and lows of love and relationship.  I can’t even pretend as if I haven’t been tested to answer myself in another person ie. a man who had hurt me.  You have to know that even if you’re attacking someonelse you are answering yourself.  It can be the Insecurity, the hurt, the embarassment, it’s still is answering yourself.

Seek making a difference within yourself when love knocks you down.  Even when I was single and the anxiety of when I would settle down would boggle me quite often it was really my own internal issues that had to be checked.  You can’t find the love you want with these issues unchecked because I’m a living witness, if you unite with someone it will come out and it can hurt the love you wanted.

During these high holidays when families are getting together, couples kissing and holding hands, children taking pictures, there is someone who is lonely and will unite with unhealthy  choices to soothe themselves, be messy, and release revenge. Don’t do it, once it’s all done it will still leave you with unchecked issues.  Instead use this down time to find ways to make yourself better, stronger, and secure.  Trust me it sounds cliche but in your hurt you can still find peace.  Let’s check ourselves with our Internet and social media use.  If it’s going to hurt you or another person don’t do it.  That meme to send a message or shade, don’t do it.  That inbox of that married man, or to investigate the woman a man you were seeing has chosen, or a friend or associate that has betrayed you-choose to not take that route.

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