ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

I hear all the time when people say is I had this mate, I would treat them better.  If I had more money I would do this and that.  It amazes me the people who are literally waiting for some Christmas miracle instead of getting off their do nothing and do something.

People don’t want to work and I’m not sure how that works out.  I’m outside all the time and have yet to see money, resources, spouses, etc. fall from the sky.  I mean honestly if it was that easy everyone would be doing it.

So you can’t love and adore your mate but if you got Beyoncé you would?  For my ladies if you were married to Idris you would be the best wife ever? Yes we are delusional to believe that one.  You could have the most beautiful man or woman but if you don’t want to work and be present to keep them you will run into the same issues that are struggling with.  You know why?  Cause unless you change on the inside adding more to your outside or status will only awaken who you really are on the inside.

You can’t change unless you change on the inside.  So mo money will only bring on mo problems in my Biggie voice.  Come on now let’s just raise our hands and receive it.  Let’s end the foolishness today.  The reason you are mean to your mate is because your mean.  We like to dress up our problems but it is what it is.  I know the people who will email me after this about oh but you don’t know what he or she did. Yes let’s say all of that is true the fact that you allowed someone else’s treatment of you to change who you are speaks volumes.  We have to get it together.

Don’t let someone else’s issues make you bitter.  Just like a cup you can put juice, milk, or even liquor in it but it don’t change the cup from being a cup.  So let’s own our cups.  Let’s also not just say that’s me but also put forth an effort to make a difference in our own lives. 

It doesn’t matter what your if I had remark is about.  It all boils down to being able to change.  You  want to make more money then you have to work harder to do so.  Let me bust your bubble, we have money making tools around us.  Go home and think about it. We have clothes and items we aren’t using it-sell it.  We got talents like baking etc, make something and then sell it.  Don’t like your job keep working and look for another until another comes.  You know I wasn’t going to say just quit.  I can’t house you and feed you so I’m not the one to tell you to walk out on a job.  Learn how to save.  There are apps that assist in saving from shoes to groceries.

I’ve complained many a day about what I was dealing with its human nature to do so.  But if we kept it real there’s something we can do to improve the things we want to be better.  We have some power to do so.  I was always taught to do what I can until you can’t do anything else.  I’ve said it before and will say it again the universe is set up to bring anything to fruition when you work hard to make it happen.

People are amazed when they hear of someone who was on welfare work hard and be successful.  That’s just one example of someone wanting more and instead of saying I don’t have enough of something make it happen by working hard.  I watched yesterday a woman who was in the middle of a divorce and the bank repossessed her car.  She had an idea and worked hard and is now owner of a company grossing in over 15 million dollars.

What makes these people more special than you?  Nothing they just said they were tired of being tired and acted.  Failure isn’t in going out and not having something pan out the way you want, it’s in not doing anything at all.  So if you try your hand and it doesn’t work, try again.  In one of those tries you have learned something and it will work.

Relationships are beautiful.  However if you loved your current mate as you would this new mate you fantasize about, your relationship would be better if nothing more than it making you into what you needed to be.  Let’s change from if I had and make it happen for where we want to be not dwelling on where we are now outside of it being  fuel to push us forward.

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