Boundaries are essential for a healthy lifestyle. As the holidays are in full swing having them set for the things that you want to do, can do, or simply eliminating being drained from saying yes to everything is paramount. So how are we keeping our wits this holiday season?
Keeping Promises to Yourself
One of the first places to start with boundaries is to start with you. The holidays are about family and friends. However, determining what your limitations are is the best place to start. This isn’t about gift giving. What does your time bank look like? Your time bank is where you dedicate to cooking for others, visiting friends, traveling, holiday parties and more. All these things require you to set the bank in time, money, and resources. If you are not willing or don’t have it inside of you to give don’t do it. But like many of us that is easier said than done.
There are many times when we do because its simply expected of us to always be givers. Take a mental break in being performative. You know the flow. You get asked to do something you don’t want to do, you do it, you’re upset and then you are left feeling used, depleted, and more. Why do we do this to ourselves.
Give What you are Willing to Lose this Holiday
This is not about tit for tat. For example, doing for others who don’t do for you and stopping doesn’t have to be about getting back at people. At some point, your meter or tolerance to continue the spiral of time consumption knowing you aren’t getting it back in return will decide how you move. Are you willing to give to an individual, organization, or more knowing you aren’t going to get any of the same energy in return.
We apply that to borrowing of money. They say never lend what you can’t lose. Once you give it, there’s a chance it is gone forever. The same is as strong as your time. Are you willing to keep giving?
Here are a few tips to keep in mind this holiday season to set a few boundaries:
- Set a monetary budget and don’t wiggle with the numbers
- Know that you will have to exercise your no muscles
- Place rest moments in your schedule
- Understand you can’t do it all and don’t apologize for it
Mental Health Moments
I love cooking for the holidays but when I do I tend to get high doses of anxiety. To prevent it or decrease it I set the menu, plan ahead m, and prep as early as I can. I play music while cooking or listen to a podcast too. The goal is to find ways to enjoy it.
Take a break. If I visit family and it’s too overwhelming I make an exit plan. If leaving isn’t an option I add some quiet time, take a nap, read a book, or some other personal activity. Understand your needs. If you’re not sure and find yourself overwhelmed don’t beat yourself up take a step back and gather your thoughts. What is the reason you feel what you’re feeling right now? Enjoy the holidays, but don’t be afraid to take care of you this season and beyond.
