ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

So if you know me you know I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I also have an issue with wearing whatever I’m feeling on my face.  Most do but I take it to another level and I’m working on it.

I know that I can come off as harsh but I’m really not.  Often times since I’m perceived that way I don’t usually correct them.  I know I know.  Ugh!  But yes I will allow people to think that I’m mean or unapproachable.  I’m actually fun and light but I’m a reader.  When I’m in a crowd I don’t start off just talking I usually get quiet and get my feel of whom I’m dealing with.

There isn’t a crowd that I can’t hang out with I pride myself in being a non people person.  That exists in my world.  I like people but I love my space.  A few years ago i was visiting a family friend and he called me out asking me what was wrong.  There wasn’t he was dying and this is a man I’ve known my entire life from almost the womb.  My mind was all over the place and I didn’t know what to say.  My face had every imaginable emotion that I was feeling.

Fast forward to this week.  I came home and someone was visiting I don’t deal well with.  My mouth said hello but my face was saying why are you here.  I know that these are my issues.  People don’t know how to take me.  My real friends know me well they pay me no attention or they just ask me what’s wrong. 

I know that I’m no the only one.  I try to force myself to be aware of it so that when I’m in a mixed crowd I don’t come off as something I don’t want to be.  If you are the same way you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

I’m a work in progress and I don’t want to make excuses whatsoever.  I’m a big girl and own my flaws.  Help my face cause I can’t lie even if I wanted to my face usually tells it all.

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