Oh love you are amazing! You give me goosebumps! You make me feel like I can do anything! Ever have that feeling? It’s amazing isn’t it?! However if you really been in love with the right one you know there are times when things can go left and quick! So how do you deal with the fizzle of love?!
What’s love got to do with it?
I think one of the many faces of love is work. We have been conditioned from society and movies that a man finds a woman and they live happily ever. So sweet! What we know is that happily ever comes from two happy, sound and whole individuals who arrive at a balance and work together. Love is amazing but without keeping it balanced will lead to this false sense of what love looks like. This can be super damaging.
Love stories vs Real Life
When I first got married I had every intention of having anything and everything say wife. Wife shirts, wife socks, cups anything. I was going to wear lingerie at least 3 days a week and make extravagant meals. Oh how television can be a real drag when real life hits! Can you do all of those things yes you can but keeping it spicy means getting spice and being realistic. I definitely didn’t meet that expectation I put on myself in our first year! However truth moment: I didn’t put any effort at all. So between being a sex kitten and sleep deprived there is a happy medium.
Celebrate the Moments
When I first got married I asked seasoned married folks what they did to survive. I got all kinds of answers but the one that stuck with me the most was celebrating moments. I talked to my husband and we decided to incorporate that in our own marriage. So we celebrate man-made holidays, our own fun and we celebrate each other’s successes and laugh and cry together at our failures. So that may mean a glass of wine for landing a new client, to celebrating each other individual success such as when I hit 1000 followers on Twitter for the blog. Every little thing is celebrated as much as possible. This keeps things light even in the dark days that come and go! The way you celebrate can be super small from a favorite treat to a great day night.
Women can plan date nights
My husband is A1 on dates. That’s always been his thing! From our first date to the most reason he knows how to plan a night for two. As I’ve gotten more secure in my own skin, I’ve stepped up to the plate. This means planning and organizing dates from the sitter to the drop off. I definitely feel like a boss when that check comes to me and I can happily pay for it! I also just like he does me make sure he knows he got to put out at the end! It’s fun! It’s fun planning and watching him enjoy a night just like he does for me!
Sex
We all know the one area that love can fizzle and that’s in the area of sex. I don’t know about you but whether married or not if I’m in a committed relationship, sex is happening. There are a millions reasons as to why sex becomes an issue. The solution is connecting outside of the bedroom so it can be lights out in the bedroom. If your partner isn’t getting what they need outside of the bedroom then the couple AND individual have to do their part to set it straight. Ladies I get it, but don’t let that man suffer in the bedroom because you and him aren’t willing to do the work outside and same for the men!
It Takes Two
Thanks to Rob Base we know a lot of things takes two and it definitely takes two to make a thing go right! Two individuals bear the responsibility in their individual and coupled success. Work needs to be done! Fizzles happen the most when you take your eyes off of the balance in life. Kids are a handful, work can be draining, and life well it can suck! However you have the power to balance yourself and balance the love you and your sweetheart have made!
Take the time to focus on the fizzle and spark it back up! You owe it to each other!!
