Easter, No Contact, and Protecting your Peace

Happy Wednesday. Today’s mental health check is all about preparing for social dining for Easter. Whenever these holidays come along, we must go down the rabbit hole of reality that not everyone gets along with their family members. Let’s have an honest conversation about forcing people or shaming others to do what you would do is self-serving.

Doing what is Best for Easter and all holidays

I am a firm believer that what you eat doesn’t make me fat. This means that allowing the grown folks to do what they do best. I can’t understand why we feel as a society to make things stick from one person to another. Most situations do not fit most people. For instance, when we had my oldest  we set certain boudnaries on how to split holidays. Holidays changes when you have kids. We never allowed others to dictate to us what is right or wrong. Keep in mind, due to people’s lives and lifestyles, every situation requires individuality.

When we had her we decided my parents would get Christmas, and my husband’s mom and family would get Thanksgiving. For Easter we would reverse every year as my husband’s family at the time did the bigger Easter dinner than we did. As we had more children before my mother-in-law  passed I asked about switching Christmas so that she could have one but we came to the conclusion that we would spend Christmas morning with her and then go to my parents’ house for the afternoon and night. It worked for us. So, with Easter coming, please do what is best for you and your family.

Traditions and New Ways of Doing Things

As a kid we always went to church all day. It was a requirement. Now sometimes we go in the morning or the day before. Other times we attend online service. Either way we took care of doing what works for us. In addition, I do an easter egg hunt with my kids or with my kids and my nieces. It is important for me to be with family. That may mean now that my husband’s side doesn’t do big Easter dinners, that if that means I cook and do family things so be it. Often times we enjoy the day of relaxing no matter where we are. 

Mental Health on Holidays

I have said this before and I will say it again; some holidays bring about stress and emotional pulls on many. Christmas is a big holiday that others feel a sense of loss. However all holidays come with a level of stress too. I encourage others to do what is best for them for major holidays. Sometimes that may mean practicing self care  activities for the day. For others they will do minimal activities and be around friends. For me I like whatever is the least to do. I will heavily prep so that on the day I can simply enjoy the smiles of the kids. 

Mental Health Check and No Contact

I have a therapy session set up for tonight. If you have been following me for a while you know that I do a lot of check ins where therapy is concerned. It should be normal at this point to hear that people are pursuing therapy and other mental health initiatives like Circles. Remember if you use it to use my code TOITIMEBLOG to save. This app allows you to listen and interact with others based on shared mental health goals. You can listen in or share either with your voice or type. It’s like Clubhouse for mental health and I love it.

Do what works for you

What do you need this holy week? How will you take care of what you care about? Do those things. Affirn yourself. If you can’t go to family due to the pressure or abusive language and conversations-protect your peace. Aunt and Uncle or even Grandparents will get over it or not. I used to go to my family houses’ hating to hear the same things.

One time I went, and an aunt made a colorism comment about my kids. I got up and left immediately. What did I hear? “Oh, don’t leave!’ “That is how aunt (insert her name in my mind) is like that!” I am like Iyanla, “not on my watch!” These are examples of why people go no contact.

I would rather eat my food in peace instead of a smorgasbord and leave in pieces. Protect your peace and do what is best for you.