Remember in elementary and junior high school we would write a note to the one we liked. We would ask would they be my boyfriend or girlfriend? Circle Yes or No. Yes, life was simple then. Howewer long gone are the days when you can give a note to make things official.
Now we are grown and dating is a bit more complex. We struggle with the whole title issue. Should you even title? When do you title? I honestly think the title comes up if the person you’re dating isn’t exclusive. Before you can call someone your girl or man I honestly think the exclusive conversation should be first. I know there is someone who is saying duh, but you would be surprised at how many people THINK they are in a relationship with someone and they are not.
I can’t tell you how long it will take before you can say that you should take the label step. It’s all about what works for you and the one you are with. My only caution is before you begin to give a title make sure you know who you are joining yourself to. Know someone long enough to know their last name and who their real friends are.
Some people are so hungry to be connected to another person they throw caution to the wind. They have to say they got someone. These are the ones who have a new boyfriend every 6 weeks. Everyone you date isn’t a boyfriend. They are just someone you are getting to know. After you have spent some time then you can switch to being exclusive.
I used to have a problem sharing with my twin growing up so for me it’s important to know I’m not sharing a man. Don’t be too much in a hurry to label. When you’re ready and if you’re ready then if you decide to label then do so. I hear people talk all the time about after a certain age it doesn’t matter. Yet when that little head of jealousy perks up it does. Stop determining what you should do based on others around you. What works for one couple may not work for you.
Exclusive is the first level of dating. Titles come second. There’s a lot of girlfriends and boyfriends who aren’t exclusive. Yep Monday boyfriend. Then there’s shoe buying boyfriend. Rent boyfriend. The list is endless. Don’t invest where the cost is so cheap everyone can get in on the action. Invest your time, money, and energy where the return is great.
