If you are a runner you know how important it is to invest in a good running shoe. They come in all different styles and in all different colors. They are necessary if you don’t want to injure your foot or legs. Trust me I tried to go cheap one time and let’s just say it definitely went left. Nonetheless, running shoes come in many forms let me tell you of some of my expensive pairs:
The Too Afraid to Face Shoe:
When I was 18 I was young, focused and fearless. I didn’t take no well and I believed anything I wanted to do all I needed was space and opportunity. At about age 21 when I became the legal age to drink and felt I could make more choices is when my shoes took a different path. For one I was ending a long term relationship. That alone when you don’t have a life outside of them is a nightmare. Let me encourage all my young people to get out and experience life a bit. Nothing is worst than being super attached too soon without the maturity to be able to divide and conquer yourself let along adding emotion into the ring. So I lost it. My shoes began taking me to paths that I will warn my daughters when the time is right. If you in your 30’s you know the path. The love in wrong places path, the I don’t need a man to complete me path, the too prideful to ask for help and I got me path, and last and certainly not last is the I know it all path. Let’s say I could be so embarassed if I could sit and watch my younger self doing what I did but reality is that it made me who I am now.
The Seclusion Shoe
When I had my daughter I was faced by real life choices. I only dealt with a handful of people. It wasn’t that I didn’t love others but the reality is that I knew I needed to build a fortress around my child. I tighten up my circle and let me tell you why. As a child I had seen things that I shouldn’t had seen. I’m not the one to play the victim person but end of the day I knew what I didn’t want my daughter around or whom for that matter. So I kept a small circle and enjoyed motherhood. I was hit from the beginning with some pretty hard lessons that babies don’t come like they do in the movies. My daughter was in and out of the hospital so much I could look at her and knew when she was going to be admitted. I started keeping clothes in my car to be better prepared. I had many who didn’t even know what I was going through. Some for good reasons. Not everyone is going to help you or mean you well and that was a lesson I learned from my mom. The paths that I had to take was the path of survival. I did whatever I had sometimes making life decisions quick not because I didn’t have a support system in place but because I felt the burden to keep my child alive and healthy was so overwhelming.
The Its Too Hard I’m out Shoe
This last shoe I will talk about almost cost it all. By this time I was pregnant with child number 2 and engaged to the man of my life. I will talk one day about the love I have for my husband when I do my Valentine’s Day blog. Nonetheless my love for him had went through many stages and after 2 kids and dealing with postpartum, I was lost. I hadn’t heard any of my friends dealing with this. I literally could see me from like an out of body experience but couldn’t make it stop. I would fly off the handle and not know why but I could feel it coming and there was nothing I could do. I put those around me through the ringer. The only ones I protected was my children but reality is they saw me so they weren’t totally secluded from my crazy at the time. It wasn’t until one day I was ready to leave my husband that I figured it out. I had packed my little babies numerous times and only getting as far as 3 blocks away sitting in a car crying. Yes I had to stop this madness. I went and sought counseling for myself, couples therapy with my husband and for a period of time medication to level me out. I had run out of excuses. I had run out of shoes .
Now with 3 little people who I love dearly I for one know how to deal with depression. I unfortunately had several major health issues with the birth of my youngest that if I was dealing with postpartum I didn’t have time to notice. To troubleshoot any issues I went under my doctors immediate care. I didn’t and couldn’t go another round of it again. However if I found that I did I was better equipped to handle it.
The point of shoes is to protect. Sometimes they can cost a little and sometimes they can cost a lot. The delicate balance is finding the shoe that works best for your goal. It’s important to know that each and everyone of us no matter the age and stage of your life have used the above shoes and its how much support or self determination to make the shoes work for your area of your life. The shoes I used were specific to get me to the goal line of where I am now and will be in my future. I will change the shoes and pick up several more along my life’s journey. So will you. Choose your pair carefully. Choose your pair wisely. Don’t let others impress you because their shoes seem to be more athletic, more smarter, more beautiful than yours. Focus on your race and be gentle with yourself.
