Learning how to create safe spaces when you aren’t in safe spaces can feel tricky. When you think of what safe space means, know that this is subjective. Creating safe spaces at work, in your home, and while you are out and about is important for your mental health.
Failing at Creating Safe Spaces
When I moved to Philadelphia I was in a physical safe space. Neither me nor my child at the time, was ever in harm. However my mental space wasn’t in the safest space. At the time I didn’t know how to articulate that. Even recently my husband discussed that. The trauma that was created for me during that difficult time has shown up in many ways too. One thing that sticks out to me was a conversation I had with my mom was simple but effective. It helped me as things got worse towards the end. The conversation also helped me towards the transition of my Mother in Law.
My mother told me that the reason that people do what they do to me with regards of my mental health, is I allowed it. Showing my pain but not doing the work to heal behind the scenes made me a walking red flag. It is that conversation that I constantly remember to this day. So in that failure I learned so much about myself.
Safe Spaces at Work
When you are working your job is to do your job. Another thing to think about is knowing the rules and the atmosphere of your workplace. While you are creating this safe space is understand that HR is never your friend. Go to work and do your work. Be conscience of what you are doing there. Make sure that you follow the guidelines that are set for you. Also before you befriend anyone outside of the normal banter, check them out. Too many people allow coworkers into your personal world way too soon. Some folks if not many of them are great coworking friends. This doesn’t mean allowing them in your life and definitely on your social media.
Examples while at work:
- Communicate deadlines and delegate tasks
- Be open to more than one idea of getting things done
- Encourage everyone to move and act with respect
While you are out and about
This week I went to a Black Creator Networking Event by The Bonita Project. One of the things that we discovered was more Content Creators in this city. As we enjoyed our time we talked about the safe spaces that we aren’t always in. While at events often times many PRs have us there as a way to check off a diversity checkmark. Yes even in this DEI world. It can be annoying. In addition, even with my family you can be somewhere and get bad vibes from people around you. If you allow them to mess with you. It felt good being heard and seen in a sea of others who share similar backgrounds.
So now that we have discussed the spaces for different parts of your life let’s talk about ways to create safe spaces:
- Find your tribe and people
- Retreat if you need to-find a space and separate yourself temporarily to regroup
- Be an active listener
- Set Boundaries
- Speak up immediately do not continue to hold things in
Content Creation and Safe Spaces
The content creation is saturated in the best ways. There are no one way to bring content and ideas to life. How you show up is to be authentic in everything that you do. Take pride in your voice. If you think that all content creators are bubbly and joyful everyday please understand that is not the case. Content Creators are people. Here are my ways of creating safe spaces while being a content creators.
- Everyone is not your friend
- Trust yourself when you feel something is off
- Find your tribe/people
- Be open to constant changes with social media apps and more
- Set boundaries with you time
- Always be mature and professional
- Speak up and openly
Although I have blogged about creating wellness spaces where you make a space aesthetic and warm to yourself. It is important to do the same in every stage of life that you are in. Life will give you people that are pretending to like you, bad experiences, and more. It is up to you to do the work to not allow these things to knock you off the wagon without getting back up. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea because in a world of tea you are champagne. The way the world is going it is designed to make you doubt yourself. Know how amazing you are and the gifts that you bring to the table.
FYI if no one has told you it’s okay to say no, remove yourself, ask questions, reiterate your boundaries, and more in order to create safe spaces.
Lastly if someone won’t let you at the table, create your own!
