Ask Toi: My mother in law paid my husband of 5 years to leave me, I still miss him, do I take him back?

If a person shows you who they are, believe them.  It’s not even the worst part that your mother in law paid your husband to leave.  The worst part is that he took the money and left.  How do you come back from that?  How much are you worth?

I would say don’t go back.  He betrayed you to the limit.  When you get married you are supposed to leave and cleave.  That doesn’t mean that parents aren’t important but there’s an order.  You and your husband were supposed to make a family together. 

I don’t need to know the amount of money that was paid because it doesn’t matter.  He actually took the money.  Let’s go back to when you were dating.  I’m sure there was some red flags that were given.  If momma was able to pay him that just means she had been handling the purse strings long before now. 

A little insight, it’s one thing to be a momma’s boy it’s another thing for momma to treat her son like a surrogate husband.  She definitely wasn’t able to cut the apron strings.  He obviously needed her money and didn’t value your relationship enough to tell momma not to interfere.  You were never his wife.  Momma was wife and although not in a sexual manner she definitely controlled his heart and wallet.

I don’t think there is anything to go back to honestly.  He’s made his decision and you really should let him ride out into the sunset with his momma.  He will probably never have a healthy relationship until he sets momma in her place and it doesn’t appear to be happening soon. 

Will you miss him?  Absolutely.  But missing him and staying is two different things.  I would just make your way to finding yourself and making a new life.  But unless you want to share your on loan husband with his momma the real wife, keep on moving.

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