I’m assuming that whatever his body image that is coming off to you has changed. To say that he disgusts you is rather a strong feeling. Men have body image issues like women, so you can’t approach it nonchalantly like it won’t matter.
If your husband hasn’t noticed that you feel that way he will. You are most likely going through the motions if any at all. As much as you have noticed I’m sure your husband has noticed as well. My next question is what positive change do you plan to enforce. If he’s picked up weight, do you both have some sort of health plan in force? Are you the change you want to see?
You can’t change your husband’s body issues and I’m not suggesting that you take on the responsibility. However as a wife you do have the power to influence change. How active are you around the house? How you approach this will be key. Keep in mind how you would want someone to approach you if the tables had to turn. You would want to have an honest, open, caring, and sensitive conversation so you do the same.
Listen to your husband. There could be more going on within him that he needs to express. When he does be sure to not speak of his issues to anyone else. Be a safe place. If he needs to see his doctor be willing to go with him. You’re his wife help him reach his greatest potential. Cheer him on as whatever changes he makes won’t be easy.
Make the investment. If what his package looks like has changed so dramatically to where you just can’t go forward, what have you planned for that? We charge men all the time, if they make insensitive remarks or begin to look else where. Don’t think for 5 seconds women don’t do the same. When you married your husband you said for better or for worse. Don’t bail on him now. He needs you. Don’t let his issue turn off your heart towards your husband. See the man you fell in love with and love him back to a place where he is empowered to be his best self.
Marriage won’t have all the cute movie like antidotes that we imagine. Marriage have seasons and this is one. If you do the right thing will bring about a closeness for your marriage later.
Here are some suggestions to implement after the difficult conversation is had:
1. Work out together. Find ways to make it sexy. Men are visual. Step your game up and find activities you can have some fun together.
2. Start a challenge. Men love competitions so why not channel that with an awesome prize on the line.
3. Cook together. This ensures that both partners are eating healthy and cooking can open up more conversation.
4. Remove unhealthy food and find alternatives. Listen there are more than one way to skin a cat. (disclaimer no cats should be harmed) The same recipes your husband loves can be prepared with alternatives such as yogurt, etc to taste just as good as what was being made.
5. Find clothes that make your husband look and feel his best until he gets back to a healthier version.
These are basic things that can be implemented to help your husband and you connect more.
You will be okay just don’t give up on your husband at his darkest hour.
