Ask Toi: An ex boyfriend passed away and I was really sad about it but my husband thinks I shouldn’t be showing emotion over an ex…

Unless you were acting as if you couldn’t live another day over this discovery I would say he’s in his feelings.  Sadness over someone you know who has passed away is normal. 

I personally get upset or sad over strangers when I hear about a death.  For me being upset over an ex shouldn’t be a deal breaker.  He might have felt like you expressing sadness meant you still have feelings for your ex but that’s just again not always the case.

Your ex waa an ex for a reason but there was once something about them that you liked and tried to be with them for however long.  I don’t have any exs where I would wish their hurt or death so if any of them passed I would be sad.   I wouldn’t go to their funerals not because I think my husband would have an issue or I was cold blooded but I am super scared of them (funeral).

Your reaction to it is his issue. We’re you crying uncontrollably or something?  I’m mentally trying to get a visual of what would set him off.   Reassure your husband that you chose him.   Whatever memories were with your ex are in the past.   Not only did it not matter prior to your ex’s death, it really doesn’t matter now that he has passed.   I’m really not being insensitive but that’s what it is.

Remember the time you had with your ex,  cry if you must and continue to build a life with your husband.  He will be okay. 

Good luck and sorry for the loss of someone in your past.  May your ex’s family find comfort in their grief.