We have to understand that children have anxiety. They are humans capable of all of the emotions that adults have. Children are whole people so it shouldn’t be unheard of that children have anxiety. They like adults are usually unable to understand how to deal with it at times. We need to make it that we teach children how to understand it and make it normal for them to process their feelings around it. Some of the things that we see in children like sleep deprivation, irritability, or worrying could be signs of anxiety.
Anxiety Beyond Yourself
I know at least for me when I first noticed that my children had anxiety it was before the age of 5. I did all of the things that as my parents would say what “new parents” do in having them evaluated. Once I was able to rule out things like ADHD which even if they did have it, would just be apart of their story, a diagnosis-anxiety. Its a lot harder to diagnose anxiety in children before they go to school. If you’re experiencing anxiety, get the help you need. Here’s a blog to help you.
Once my kids got to school we saw their anxiety in various forms. I had to deal with the notion that even if I had passed it down to them, helping them through it would be the best way of handling it. It’s not a fault of mine that they have it. Anxiety quite normal. It’s manageable. Helping me remove myself from their story made me better at helping them. For parents who have guilt about their own actions affecting their children, read this blog.
Individual Plans
One of the things that my children’s doctor informed me is seeing the kids as individuals. This means like our raising of them, they would need different treatment plans to help them. It just so happens that they have been able to combat their anxiety similarly. We knew from the gate that we didn’t want them on any form of medication. Our doctor agreed with it. We found that therapy and other self help tactics is what they need for now. Remember the plans changes as their needs changes.
Therapy for Children
One of the things that irks me with anxiety and talking about therapy as a whole is that people say, that even with a “good” life a child is incapable of having things that need to process. My family and friends know that we do the absolute most fun things with them. What if that was all for show? It’s not by the way. However a good life still isn’t without anxiety. If that was the case the rich would be all good to go and yet they have the most triggers. People in general come into the world with things that set them off. Children shouldn’t have to wait until they get in trouble, get lost in a system, or any other negative situation to prescribe therapy.
Therapy is a Great Tool
Having my children have someone who they can speak to objectively outside of me makes my parenting a lot better. Their therapist along with our open conversations in our home, has helped the understanding of who my children are becoming. It’s not my job to shape them in the way I want it them to be. It’s my job to raise them for the world and teach them to navigate it. I teach them how it may be easier to for them to get the help they need now it may not be that way. We have had talks about barriers in the mental health space. We also encourage them that if they experience a barrier, to not quit. Get the help that they need.
Benefits Seen in My Children
I have seen a renewed sense of confidence. They have weekly sessions. We let them know that even on weeks when things seem to be fine, therapy isn’t just a place for the bad. We allowed them to be in the selection process of who they are comfortable as well as we are comfortable. Their therapist also communicates things to us as we need them as well as other things such as YouTube videos, books, and self help material they may need. We also have found a few items on Amazon that helps too. Here is what we found:
Poppers Fidget Toys
Fidget toys are something that we have been invested in with our children since Kindergarten. We also have their teachers on the same page. They do not play with them outside of needing them for school or at home if they are overwhelmed. We made sure there is a clear understanding on what their intended use. Also to the parents who may have kids who have TikTok be clear that they aren’t just using them for the fact that they have been popular on that application. They help to focus them. During a presentation, for an example, I slide a fidget toy into one of my children’s hands (they are online school) and it saw a sense of confidence. They were able to step up to the challenge.
Gratitude Journal
We use this daily. Having them write down what they are grateful for and be intentional not to repeat it. There are way too many things to be grateful for. Saying the same things means they aren’t seeing the wonderful things around them. We encourage them to be focused on the big and little things and lean in. We also have them start journals. This is a great way if they are feeling overwhelmed that they can use it as prompts for their therapist or even with us. I want them to learn how to express themselves.
Yoga For Children
One of the things that I have to be honest, I didn’t think my children would be interested in was yoga. They love it. I love seeing them do it. They are more calm after they do it. Since we are still in a pandemic we haven’t been able to see a yoga instructor, but yoga online is a blessing. They have found Cosmic Kids Yoga. Its a love for all of us. The teacher, Amy MacConnell is amazing. She always has a yoga class that fit them as well as they have classes that surround themes and holidays too. For more older child, she has one for tweens too. Check it out. It’s on YouTube and easy to do.
Children’s Favorite Activities
We have been since the pandemic learning them. Talking to them about their likes and dislikes. It makes them feel loved in ways I can’t explain. They need to feel that. I do random Amazon drops of their favorite things. Also trips to Five Below. We encourage them to get crafts, books, and other means of expressing. Listen this world has so much pain and it sucks the life out of everyone including children. So a 10 trip to Five Below once a month isn’t going to break the bank. We talk openly about self-care. We encourage them to learn themselves. When they are fighting with one another we recognize that it could be a need of time to themselves that they need. Whatever it is, tap in.
