Did you know that the second Friday was National Quitters Day? It was. Just shy of 2 weeks into the New Year and most people have already given up on their resolutions. Why is that? So many people are not prepared to take the accountability and perseverance that it takes to push past their feelings to make things happen.
Accountability to Yourself
Online we have so many people willing to put their relationship on the line due to their person not proposing. So they go and tell them if they don’t propose to them by x date they will leave. But we know how this all works. The date comes and an argument ensues but the person who gave the ultimatum is still there. That is how we run our lives. Demanding more from others than we can give to ourselves. Resolutions are declarations to ourselves for what work we are willing to put in. Many times we don’t understand that in order to make a goal move forward, you have to be willing to be honest about where you stand.
What have you done to make the goal happen? Losing weight, but no time at the gym or even doing some steps in the house while watching television. No goal is without work. I get how much it would work if things simply fell out of the sky. This isn’t a fairytale. Be honest about where you are and what you have or haven’t contributed. When someone asked me if I knew what I was having, ie. pregnant I was mad. One that person had no business asking but the other side to it was that I looked pregnant. How did I dishonor myself and get there? I had to take accountability of the work I wasn’t doing. No self control, no boundaries, and more.
What are you willing to do?
Even I had to ask myself with the goalsI had on what I was or wasn’t doing. It hurt like hell to know that no one but me gotten me to the point I had made. After I cried looking at myself I did inner checks. My physical reality as I use it for an example was revealing so much deeper inside of me. This is when I went to therapy and did the work. The weight I carried on my body was a reflection of pain happening on the inside. FYI, any goal can be inserted from inner issues to physical. Here’s what I did:
- Acknowledged, cried, and got to work
- Ask for help-made doctor and nutritionist appointments
- Enlisted the criticism from my spouse
- Cleaned and cleared my closet and cabinets
- Looked for a new job-even applying for jobs that I wasn’t qualified for too ( I had nothing to lose)
- Got a Mentor-finding someone who wouldn’t sugar coat
Accountability and Your Environment
Even when I solicited the help of my husband I still set boundaries. He only could give advice when asked. We talked about did I need him to only listen or give advice. This allowed me to have honestly but also know what it was I needed and more. Be sure that if your environment is apart of the reason you lack accountability that you are willing to set boundaries. For some that may mean talking less about what you are “going” to do. Sometimes we talk to people who honestly don’t wish us well. While not wishing you well they are the first to remind you that you aren’t capable, enough, lovable, or all of the other forms of negativity.
Hard Truths
Here is an example, while with my oldest I saw a mom telling her teenage daughter who was talking to a retail personnel about working there that they wouldn’t want her. She berated her and told her how lazy she was and more. It was so bad I removed my own daughter from that area and allowed her to go get Starbucks. I watched how this mom tore her daughter down. Obviously I can’t know for sure what the home life is like. However I could take a stab that if you are willing to speak like that in public it’s far more worse at home.
That daughter may not be able to remove herself from her home. She would have to hopefully have someone who is pouring into her. Moving towards working to save money for herself and her future. In addition, if she is interested in being independent of her mother, it’s going to take a lot of work.
Doing the work is not easy. It was never intended to be. There are sacrifices that must be made to make any goal work. Acknowledging what got you to the point so you can map out a plan is necessary. Be clear but realistic about your plans. Get help. If you are not coachable or teachable this will 100% keep you from being able to be the stand out you deserve to be. I know you can do it! You got to believe in you and do the work.
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