We show grace towards strangers, children, family, and even some friends. However when it comes to us we make excuses or even talk ourselves out of showing grace to ourselves. The notion that we must make life hard has to change. Grace is often times not earned. This means that merit doesn’t garner it. So if we can’t earn grace why do we barter with it daily in our lives?
Deserving of Grace
One way to extend grace is to remind yourself that you are deserving. It’s super easy to forget. If you are like most you start to think of the ways in which you failed. Failure isn’t supposed to be permanent stop. I would be lying if failure doesn’t put a pause in your life. The reset of life is real. However you don’t have to lay too long in hopes that one day life will simply give you what you want without the work. It’s not in the amount of times that you fail its in not giving up. Accept the grace to move ahead even if plans have to be altered.
Counter the Negative thoughts with a Positive Plan
This one is usually a little harder to do . I started doing this with my therapist a few years ago. For example, if the thoughts of how I wasn’t successful at pitching one week. I would counter that with a plan to not only increase the number of who I pitched to but I would use an audit of a failed pitch to improve. For Content Creators pitching is about 40-50 percent in how you make income. Not getting a yes is normal. If there is a pitch that falls through I always ask what about the pitch didn’t land to the person/company pitched. This is about evolving in the mistake or failure that stings. Taking it and flipping it as well as learning from your mistakes will make you stronger.
Apply the same principle to your life and lifestyle. What ways can you take a failure or negative thought and make a plan with it? I am confident you can think of at least 3 examples.
Get Graceful People in your Circle
We always need the ones who aren’t afraid to be honest. However honestly doesn’t always have to be rude. So get some graceful folks in your corner. I have a friend who is going through some dark times right now. What would it look like telling someone how you attempted to tell them about the mistake before it took place? What will my friend gain from kicking her while she is down? How about learning to be graceful to others and get some folks who know the delicate balance of both around you. When I was younger I got so used to friends who had no issue cutting you down at the first breath that when I finally found a friend who was loving and non toxic it felt strange.
Learning to embrace those in your circle who bring out the best in you is helpful. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have tough love. Ask yourself when was the last time you hyped your friend just because. This means without a big event or lifestyle change is taking place.
Include the Barrier for Mistakes
As much as no one wants to willingly find themselves in an bad way, know its possible to happen. I am not suggesting looking for the bad to happen. Telling and trusting yourself to believe in yourself so much that if you should fail you know that its a part of the process. When I was in high school I dealt with high functioning anxiety. I studied hard and was in the International Baccalaureate program. This program is harder than most Advanced Placement classes that are offered. When I got to college I experienced my first F on a test/quiz and fell apart. It was almost as if I was never supposed to be able to not grasp something the first time.
It set me up for increased anxious moments in my future too. Know that mistakes are bound to happen. Grace yourself with the ability to account for it and move ahead.
Walk in Grace
This is when you learn to look for ways to let grace do her work. Grace is supposed to carry you when simple intellect or ability fails you. Walking in grace allows you to be able to content no matter what. Whether you can eat steak or hamburger be happy doing both. For the times you can vacation the yacht to the times that you are barely able to get your weekly bus pass both are times you can extend grace’s touch to your life.
You are deserving of grace. Have a plan in place for those dark moments of understanding what all is going on. Surround yourself with folks that have your best intentions. Know that failure is inevitable while also learning to be content in the life you have as you active do what is necessary to make life amazing.
