They say it’s something when you turn 40! You no longer feel the need to do the most for people who don’t share in the same level of energy. You no longer give to everyone just because. You know your worth and before you downgrade you’ll add some more.
40 and Fabulous
It’s the start of your journey when you walk in being grown grown! You don’t have to put on for anyone. You are more secure. I know for me it’s an awakening. I’ve cried a few times up to this day. Thinking about all of the things that I’ve failed, those who failed me, and what it all meant. Let me help someone: it means I’m human and growing. I’m grateful to be 40! Some of the things I had happen to me should have taken me out. I’m a living witness that change is possible.
Check This Out
Every year especially in the last few years I’ve treated my birthday like the reset that it is. Allowing myself to forgive the past and hold myself accountable too. This year isn’t any different. With that sense of knowledge it extends to those around me. I’m not making excuses for people who make their decisions concerning me and my family. I told my husband how much I enjoy this invitation only phase in my life. I’m only going to get more exclusive.
No is a Full Sentence
I’m not coming. I don’t want you here. If there’s an outing that you seem to only call for so you can get gifts-the answer is NO. We aren’t having you over when you don’t have good intentions towards my entire family. We aren’t playing mind games. No! No! No! I mean every bit of it. Too many times I sat and taken stock on the blood sucking for years. I’ve cut it off already! But in case there are any secret society members of the blood sucking society here’s your notice that it’s over! Do you know that many people don’t mind taking but very little want equal deposits?! Nobody is robbing me or my family of any resources. You can also catch the podcast on that as well.
Forgiveness
I forgive a lot of people in the same manner that I’ve sought forgiveness. Therapy is essential! It’s helped me to let go of the trauma. For instance my biological father who has never once done anything for me and my twin-forgiven. He doesn’t and will not have access to my family. Its not bitterness in that decision. I’ve come to terms with his inability to be a father. The best thing I can do is wish him well in his days on Earth and pray he gets the help he needs. He’s not only been a bad father to me but to his other kids as well. I grant peace to people and situations who would never do the same. This doesn’t mean I’m not entertaining people just for the sake of doing so!
New Chapter
My circle is smaller. Someone said to me how they can’t keep up with what I’m doing these days. I find that interesting because I write whole blogs on my journey. I just don’t inform people immediately as I make decisions. The reason is simple. I got tired of telling my accomplishments to one sided folks. Folks who made everything about them during my announcement. So I get excited and share that excitement with my family. Those wins aren’t for the masses they are for them. So the great things that in store, don’t worry I’ll share when they unfold always on the blog.
I Own Me
This is a beautiful thing when you can own yourself. This simply means knowing who you are and knowing your flaws. No one can use them against you! I am who I am. Loving myself. I love the things that I’ve conquered. Failure, I love what the failure showed me! I haven’t always loved them but now as I’ve gotten older I see that they were apart of my story. They make me better.
Nobody’s Chameleon
I am grateful for my birthday today! I can’t believe the lessons I’ve had to overcome. I’m grateful for the tears. I’m grateful for the joy! Today is about celebrating all of it! I’m finally 40…I’m not playing games in this new season! Being aware of the energy that people give is key. Ignoring it is not an option. Not sitting under folks that don’t mean me well. I’m not looking for validation from everyone either. For years I wanted people to like me. I was a people pleaser since a little girl.
I took hits because of it. The little girl that I was didn’t know any better. I became an adult that learned to be a chameleon but to my own detriment. Therapy taught me how much I put myself last. I was the one always hurt and upset in the end. So my therapist had me do an assignment. This was how I learned to recognize every time I shrunk myself. That was a few years ago.
So this new chapter of being grown grown I’m here for it. Let’s do this!
