We are strong women who go through it all and sometimes because we are so strong, we lean towards strong women but forget we are out first example of strength. We need to be sure we remember what we been through and use the strength of difficult situations to move forward!
I wanted to know what one area where Cicely felt she lack strength and that she wanted to attack in 2020. Cicely stated that “getting out of the way of her own happiness and putting others’ feelings before hers” was the first area she wanted to explore.
Caregivers
There’s a lot to be said to being a caregiver or just a giver in general. While you are meeting the needs of others it feels that the essence of who you are is dwindling. Other people that you cater to don’t mind growing, leaping and abounding at your expense. It makes me question whether it’s the fact that others take from our pots or is it more that we leave the top of it for them to cypher. Think about that. Women are natural at helping and nurturing. Who’s nurturing us? I remember hearing and I can’t remember where I was watching a movie and the man said to the woman when she gave this long laundry list of things that she had done he simply stated, “I never asked you to do that!”
I never asked you…
Ladies hear me and hear me clearly that man might have been in a movie, but the sentiment was still one and the same. We put ourselves for people who if we pull back, they may get mad but can adjust. So,first lesson on being resilient is the art of knowing when to flex that NO muscle. Its more than saying NO with your mouth but in the way you act. Resiliency is about tapping out and resifting. Its scary but those who were meant to shift with you and anyone who isn’t won’t and never would have.
Character Check
I asked Cicely what is one characteristic you lack and desired what would it be?
“Simply stated it would be to be more selfish!”
Clutch your pearls ladies being selfish may come off wrong but in 2020 we need more selfish moments. Its okay for her to be a mom and be selfless with her daughter, or to have moments of selfless moments with her husband. However, the woman who thrives is the one who balance and incorporate selfish moments and waters her pot of happiness.
“I want to be more selfish this year and make myself a priority. I have been adding more self-care days. From making sure I take time off from my one of my jobs and having two days off a month a minimum. I do things for myself like make breakfast just for me, get a pedicure but I want to step it up to where I allow myself to do so without guilt. Learning I am working on inner strength and loving myself unapologetically from the inside out. I am also working on losing my baby weight and flattening this tummy and building muscle in my arms.”
Picture Lesson
I asked Cicely and I am asking you to do the same. Find a picture that you felt the most beautiful, strong, etc. What does that picture remind you of. I do this often to not try to copy that same sentiment but to remind myself that the same woman I felt in the pictures parts of her are still on the inside of me. When I first began blogging, I didn’t want to be seen. I found a picture of an 18-year-old me who was fearless, and I reminded myself that she is still there on the inside of me even if she’s wiser. Cicely sent me a picture (I am not posting it FYI) but she was vivacious, curvy, beautiful, solid, and strong. Those are the words that come to mind when I look at it.
I asked her what the picture represents to you:
“I was carefree, and I put myself first as I sought to tour the world. Being I was fearless and comfortable in my skin. I enjoyed being me and loving on my support system. No regrets!”
How can you do the picture lesson in your life? Can Cicely go back to that feeling even now? Absolutely yes. We can carve our lives to be what we want them to be. She was 30 in that picture and there’s something when you become 30 you start to come into your own. Now that she is in her own, she can begin to define what her life looks like. So yes, Cicely you got this!
Appreciation goes a long way
Which brings me to the next question of what was one time when Cicely felt the strongest?
She explains, that
“hearing her boss express his loyalty to and appreciation of me while attempting to promote me.”
When you are working and attempting to climb that ladder feeling appreciated for the hard work is just as important as coming in to work daily day in and day out. Appreciation is one of the missing parts that make people walk off a job-any employer reading this remember that!
Mama Davis
We all have one woman who we lean on no matter what. For Cicely it is her mother. I know her mother and she is an epitome of strength and honor.
“My mother…she is my heart, soul and role model! Her strength knows no bounds!”
To the mothers who are fortunate to be spoken highly I don’t take that lightly. Not all mothers are mothers of honor so to still have her mother here and a strong support I salute you Mrs. Davis!
Strength of a woman
I asked Cicely what the strength of a woman and her response is simply, “endurance to run the race of life, knowledge and acceptance of not being able to handle everything alone, unconditional love, open mindedness”
Thanks
Thank you, Cicely, for being willing to be interviewed as we press in this month honoring women from all walks of life. Even though I do know Cicely the call was for ALL women. I have been doing this for 4 years I don’t push anyone that is connected to me do these interviews. There is a level of vulnerability that no everyone wants to take. However, a mother and wife who people believe once you marry and start a family you are settled isn’t always true. Truly being settled is when you as a woman love the woman you are becoming and if you find that you must revamp the plan being okay with not allowing anyone to bring anything to your table you simply don’t want.
I have said this before, and I will say it again this is 2020 we are the tables. Marriage is a beautiful thing and we must be willing to do a check in within ourselves and make sure that our inner checks in life are being marked too. Build with someone who allows that and encourages that. Marriage isn’t the end of life it’s a beginning of a different life. You must be able to look in that mirror and find the strength to love yourself as a separate entity and not only be defined like Beyoncé would say, “his little wife!”
Happy wife, Happy Life
To all my wives, it’s not easy it’s a lot of give and take but don’t let anyone take who you are for granted. Be you and love you while you love him. Happy wife, happy life starts with being happy to start and if you find you aren’t revamping and find it again-its an inside job that no ring or title can bring you wholeness.
It was a pleasure and honor to open up to you and your blog. Thank you for creating the space to do so as well as the wisdom and determination to build with your fellow sister. I wish you continued success in your writings and in life. Happy Women’s History Month 2020!!!
Yes ma’am you are a jewel both blog wise and friend wise!! Thank you!