Today makes 12 years living in Philadelphia. It may not seem like a lot but it is. The first day of me moving here I found out that I, who had already had a toddler was that I was pregnant. The lessons that I learned about myself stepping away from every comfort I’ve known has shaped me into the woman I am today.
Philadelphia Taught me Resiliency
I consider myself to be a strong woman. By the time I had went to college I already had been through and seen things I hope most had not. I learned how to make the best of my situations. However nothing prepared me for the stage of my life when I would be tested beyond measure. One of my triggers that I’ve learned about during my time in Philadelphia is change. I moved here with a small child and a baby on the way.
My job had downsized so I only had my unemployment and severance. In my mind I really felt overwhelmed. We lived with my Mother in Law and you already know that didn’t work out well. However if I could go back 12 years ago I would have told my younger self that it all works out as soon as I learn to work on myself.
Learning who I Would Become
I spent too much time complaining. Every time something happened it was never my fault. Trust me I learned well how to play the victim card. It wasn’t until I started therapy that I learned how to really turn lemons into lemonade. Every action didn’t deserve an outburst. Leaving my home time helped me heal in ways I avoided all along. This is why I’m all for people moving but know this: you can change locations but to change you requires work. It wasn’t just my small time mind that needed revamped. That move brought out the ugly in me. Philadelphia is where I went on the Potters will of life and grew up fast.
My Family Means the World to me
2 of my 3 kids were born in Philadelphia. It was through being their Mother that saved my life. Honestly, the woman I am was made in motherhood. It boils down to therapy and inner work. Showing up for them was birthed through learning how to show up for myself. One of the first lessons in therapy for postpartum was to learn that I too mattered. I had to learn that I would never tap into who I needed be without healing from some of my childhood experiences.
Toitimeblog was Birthed in Philadelphia
I’m not sure if I would have blogged if I hadn’t moved. There are amazing bloggers from my hometown. However I had to go through that internal healing in Philadelphia so that is was unlocked the blog. My therapist told me within the first 6 months to start the blog. I was scared and hesitated and that’s why the blog is 8 years old. Be scared to do something but make it happen. I’ve worked with so many wonderful brands, and PR agents and more. Thank you to all of them.
Friendships Opened Up in Philadelphia
One of the biggest challenges moving from my hometown to Philadelphia was leaving my family and friends. My friends were the staple of my life. There was so much comfort. We didn’t allow others into the circle. However in Philadelphia I learned that in order to be a friend I would have to open up. So often times I went to events and sat alone. A mentor of mine helped me to be able to network, encouraged me to let personality to shine, and make friends. To my friends and associates that I love working together with-y’all are the real MVP of my Philadelphia experience.
Lessons that I struggled with in Philadelphia
I wanted my husband’a family and friends to be my village. Now before anyone comes at me for saying this it doesn’t mean that they aren’t. It just means my personal expectations that I set up wasn’t met. A village also has to be aware of the expectations that are being set up. I never communicated what I needed. In fact I was more stand-offish with many of them thus not making it a situation to entreat me.
The only way my life becomes better is if I do the work. No one was going to make me be happier. That was an inside job. My husband had given me everything and I mean every tool but it wasn’t enough to a miserable person! Personal happiness make you happier, a go getter, solid relationship and more. People say happy wife, happy life. People will spend thousand of dollars trying to make a unhappy spouse happy and it’s never going to happen!
So to Philadelphia that turned this woman into what you see today-thank you! I came broken but I stand today whole. Everyday I show up for me first. My family second and my blog always! Thank you so everyone who has supported! Thanks to my patient husband for helping me move here, and helping me navigate this space. Today’s Philadelphia Anniversary is dedicated to everyone who is scared to step out! If I can do it you can do it too! Here’s to thriving in something new! Go Eagles in the game today!
